6 Telltale Signs She’s Playing Hard to Get

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Women love playing hard to get.

They enjoy being on pedestals. They get a kick out of being chased after.

And it should be no surprise considering the fact that women’s most valuable currency is attention.

That’s why they play hard to get.

In fact, women cannot be happy for long without male attention; be it from a monogamous and committed relationship or a lineup of beta orbiters.

Of course, not all women are the same in that regard.

Not all of them require the same level of attention, but from social media to dating apps to clubs, any public platform will show you how male attention is vital to them, even though they’ll try to convince you otherwise.

Since an average woman will have many options when it comes to men, it should be common sense that she wouldn’t want to settle for the first man she sees. She’ll want to settle for the attention of the man who has the most to offer. 

The man with the highest value has the highest attention value.

So until a woman finds that prize of a man, she’ll continue playing hard to get. 

And that’s understandable; when you’re used to choosing and picking from many options, especially if you’re attractive, you’ll naturally act like you’re the prize that’s not easily attainable.

You’ll instinctively want to sit back and watch these options pursue you, and within these chases, you’ll find an ego-boosting satisfaction that you would never want to stop.

But since men are generally at a disadvantage when it comes to having so many options, it might be frustrating for them to deal with women who play hard to get in their approaches, dates, and even long-term relationships.

All these games, mixed signals, flakes, and roundabouts…

They can easily piss you off for good, and that’s when all these incels’ arguments start to make sense.

However, if you’re able to notice the differences between women who like you and are playing hard to get and those who just want your attention for scratching their own ego, you’ll be able to pick the right games to play without wasting your time and energy.

When you also know how to deal with their games, which will never cease to exist as long as we live, you’ll be able to successfully attract the kind of relationships you’ve aimed for.

Now let’s go through the most common signs women play hard to get, and how to handle them like high-value men. 

Please note that this post contains affiliate links. I only recommend products and services that can add value to you at no extra cost.

6 Telltale Signs She’s Playing Hard to Get

 

1. She’s “Busy” Most of the Time

Gentlemen, when you ask a woman out and she tells you, “I’m busy,” then she is busy, but only when it comes to you.

Unless she bothers to give you a valid reason as to why she doesn’t have time for you; when she flat-out tells you that she is occupied in a disinterested or dismissive manner, then she isn’t playing hard to get; she just doesn’t want you.

And you shouldn’t take it personally.

Because most likely she doesn’t even know who you are, so don’t overthink things and let your little fantasy impel you into believing that she’s just playing hard to get or that she hates your guts.

If she does like you and is just giving you a hard time, you have to make sure you don’t fall into her game by chasing her, especially after she has already dismissed you with the “busy” excuse.

Don’t look desperate and of lesser value compared to her.

However, if you’ve noticed that she has been responding really well up until you’ve asked her out, to which she bothered to give you an explanation for why she’s busy, then you could try again later on. Just not immediately, of course.

It’s important to remember that women don’t like to seem very easy, so you have to be mindful of the reasons why they play hard to get so you don’t get frustrated with their “games” and quit.

If you notice that there’s genuine interest, then pursue while, at the same time, showing that you value your time and effort, so you wouldn’t be asking for her availability again anytime soon.

If she still continues to mess around, then put the ball in her court by -calmly- letting her know that you see no point in asking again and that she should let you know when she wants to hang out or do whatever it is you wanted her for.

And then be on your way, for good. 

Always be smart, patient, and scarce. Always look for ways to make sure she’s playing your game by pursuing to attract, not chasing to follow.    

2. She Rarely Reciprocates Your Affection

When you’re dealing with a woman who’s picky with her affection, it’s easy to get confused thinking whether she’s playing hard to get or is simply not interested.

Most likely, women who are disinterested will simply and consistently not bother dealing with you at all. They will not initiate any affection of any sort, physical included.

Unless you have something they need, then that’s an entirely different story.

But when you’re getting mixed signals, it could be a sign that she’s playing hard to get, or she’s not so sure about you yet, or she wants to keep you at arm’s length for the time being because of another man.

And how should you react to that?

Again, don’t play her game or follow her lead, otherwise, you will definitely lose her for good and just waste your time.

Women do not get attracted to a man who follows them around and selflessly accommodates their needs. Even when they say otherwise.

Instead, take a step back. Let them know you’re not like the rest of her orbiters.

Refrain from investing further into the connection you have — it’s one of these incidents why you should always have to have other options and plates to spin.

Go radio silent and then re-engage again later. 

And if she continues to give you mixed signals, then it’s time to drop her an option and replace her with another.

As much as this might frustrate and confuse you, but you have to simply understand that a woman that won’t give you a clear and definite “yes” or consistent displays of affection is a woman who’s just not that interested.

We’re not here for that.

You’re not here for 50% of a woman’s desire or bits and pieces of her affection. You’re here for everything she has to offer because that’s what you deserve.

Anything less just ain’t worth it.

She might even tell you that she’s interested even though she acts differently. Her words might not match her actions just to keep you around for your attention or to make you wait for her “reconsideration”.

But as Rollo Tomassi once said, “the medium is the message.”

Remember that a woman who’s into you will be all over you, so until she’s fully invested, she’s allowed to play hard to get at the beginning of your connection.

Once you sense that she doesn’t display any affection of some sort, then her time’s up and your attention is withdrawn.

3. She Doesn’t Initiate & Carry Conversations

If she doesn’t initiate conversations, then she’s not interested.

If she doesn’t ask you questions, then she doesn’t care enough.

If she doesn’t even bother carrying a conversation with you, then you have nothing to do here.

But a girl who’s playing hard to get will take on the spectator role in your conversations, just to have you investing a bit more or make sure you’re the kind of guy she would like to talk to.

Obviously, there’s a fine line between not being interested in a conversation and being temporarily difficult to deal with.

Understand the difference by frequently evaluating her willingness to invest in your interactions.

When you’re dealing with a woman for the first time, especially if she’s attractive, it will be normal for her to hold back in her engagements. She’ll want to evaluate your approach and value first before making sure it’s okay for her to be at ease and continue talking to you.

She’ll maybe ask questions here and there. And in the longer term, she’ll initiate conversations and calls every once in a while.

At this point, your job is to just continue being playful and engaging with her until she’s more invested.

In some cases when you’re dealing with a girl who gives you more of a hard time, she might only be seeking your attention and making sure your interaction doesn’t really go anywhere, that’s why you should always make sure that you’re interactions have a destination — a number or a next date.

When your girl is playing hard to get in a longer-term context such as in a relationship, it could be the case that she’s just not getting something she wants out of you, and how you react to that depends entirely on what it is that you’re not giving her.

Either way, make sure you don’t compromise and give in to her colder treatment by reacting emotionally because if you do that once, she’ll use this same tactic against you with the next thing she wants on her list.

If this is your case, then it’s important to maintain your Frame by completely neglecting her attempts at baiting you in emotionally.

4. She’s Hot N’ Cold 

A woman playing hard to get will never be settled for you, and this will be intentional until you change things around to make her pursue you.

Attractive women know how to get most of what they want from men by putting in as little effort as possible into their relationships. These women know that the minimal effort they put in will get men addicted and looking for more.

For a girl playing that game, it’s all about giving the impression that she’s scarce and of higher value.

Attractive girls instinctively understand that we all get bored with someone when we have an abundance of his or her attention. They know that the scarcer their attention and love, the more special and valuable they’ll be, and the more hooked men will be for them.

Which also means.. the more obedient men will be.

So, she will say yes to a date and then no to the next four dates.

She will return your call once and maybe not the next three.

She’ll agree to do something you want for once and then pretend it never happened.

She’ll always keep you guessing, and that unpredictable vibe will get you to react emotionally — to act with anxiety and fear of loss.

This instability can be quite annoying, but expecting women to just change that attitude by themselves is useless. Women who act like that and get what they want out of their tens of friend-zoned beta orbiters have no reason to stop playing hard to get when it’s so rewarding, practically speaking.

But if you already know what’s up, you know that you need to do things differently to avoid being in the same circle with her helpless followers.

Here’s what you, as a high-value man, need to know when a woman’s intentionally going hot and cold:

It’s all up to you.

If you want her to be hot, then you’re going to frame it that way. You’re going to have to lead her to do so with your Game. 

Because for you, it’s either hot or it’s completely cold.

If you’re not getting what you want out of her and she’s still playing hard to get for whatever reason, you just simply and calmly take a step back, then let her know you’re there if she wants to engage a bit more.

When you do take control and remove yourself from the situation, you let her know that you don’t have time for her games. That it’s either she commits to your plans or you’re out.

She flakes or cancels the next date?

Don’t even talk to her until she does, and she better has a good reason/apology for her flakiness/cancellation. You shouldn’t even set the next date anytime soon.

She doesn’t return your call?

Don’t even ask her why she didn’t return the call. Let her come to you, and if she doesn’t, then no problem, we have (should at least) other options.

Your time is valuable, treat it as such, and most will follow regardless of their personal dating agendas.

If she acts like she’s the prize, then subtly show her that you’re an even better prize.

5. She Takes Too Much Time to React

playing hard to get

She takes time to text back, even though, as we know, women are glued to their phones.

She’s late on dates with you.

She takes time to get ready for her date with you.

A woman playing hard to get will purposefully take her time to keep you anticipating, and that’s just how they roll.

However, you don’t necessarily need to accept that.

How to Deal with Her Taking Time to Text Back

If she takes too much time to text back, you should always take your time as well — if she’s interested, that will let her know that you’re not waiting for her; that you have other options to think about, which will in return, get her to think about you more.

“What’s he doing? Why is he taking too much time to text back? Is he texting other girls? Is he having more fun elsewhere than with me?” she’ll think.

When you get a woman intrigued, and assuming she had some interest in you, to begin with, you create an aura of mystery around you which makes you even more attractive.

When you consistently let her know that you don’t care about her taking so much time to respond because you have other things (and other chicks) to deal with, she’ll eventually take less time to respond out of competition anxiety — she’ll be afraid to lose your attention.

And this is exactly where you want her to be: afraid to lose you, more willing to invest in you.

How to Deal with Her Being Late on Dates

This is one of these very common shit tests to see if you’re willing to comply and make her comfortable — to sit and wait for her and give her all the time she needs.

But high-value men don’t accept that. They don’t have time to waste, and they have other things to do.

It all depends on why she’s late and how apologetic she is about it. 

If she’s a few minutes late on the first date, then it’s okay, whatever.

But if she’s 30 minutes late, then you have every right to check her and let her know that doesn’t work for you.

When you check a woman for doing something that you don’t approve of, not only will you be able to stop whatever it is that’s bothering you from happening again, but you’ll gain a lot of respect for your time and who you are as a man.

And respect is the main drive for attraction. Without respect, you got no attraction.

She might react negatively towards you putting her in her place, but that’s not your problem. 

As any high-value man would do, you set a time and place for a date and expect you both to be there to follow.

If she doesn’t like it, well, tough luck dear, she’s dealing with a Man now. If she doesn’t like it, she can always go back to “dating” these soy-boys with nothing to offer but the ability to dry women up real quick.

Those are the kinds of men who would be happy to wait all night for her. Don’t be one of them.

6. She Shit Tests You. A lot.

Any woman who’s playing hard to get will test the hell out of you, and you better be prepared for these shit tests the right way.

Because shit-testing is a woman’s indirect way of flirting with you and seeing if you’re confident enough to be with her.

She’ll intentionally make you jealous.

She’ll make fun of you.

She’ll suddenly act completely disinterested “for no reason”.

And a lot of men get offended and flustered when they’re met with these shit tests; they don’t understand why women are being “rude” and “combative”.

They don’t understand why if a woman likes a man, they get a little cheeky and annoying in their interactions.

But any man who has a little bit of Game and understands the female psyche will see these shit tests as opportunities for flirtation and escalation.

Think about it: if a woman wants nothing to do with you, would she engage with you in a shit test or would she be completely indifferent towards you and not even bother? 

A self-confident man who’s at ease with himself and with women will deflect these shit tests with humor and maybe even playfully turn the tables and put her on the spot (again, playfully) to let her know that he:

– Understands how women think and flirt, even if they themselves don’t.

– Has the mental strength to deal with being tested at any time — self-confidence is the number one trait any healthy-minded woman will seek.

– Knows how to have fun and not take things too seriously, which shows the woman he’s fun to be with and is able to have a good time.

– Has social proof. Any man who is able to deal with these tests will indirectly and naturally show that he has been through this before and has passed, and that is something women really value in men.  

Women of high value who have some interest in figuring you out will play hard to get by testing you to see what you’re about.

Never avoid these tests or get frustrated by them. Instead, see them for what they really are: an easy opportunity for you to capitalize on it and sweep her off with your charm. 

Your Frame Is All There Is

The sooner you accept the fact that women love to play games when they’re dating, the better you’ll act and less frustrated you’ll get.

Unlike us men, the games women play excite them, and when you know to play these games yourself and lead women into your Frame, these girls will fall even harder for you and stop playing hard to get sooner.

But that’s as long as you’re not compromising your time and effort.

To maintain your Frame and remain focused on your goal, you have to not only game women but also end her game on your terms as soon as possible by attracting her and then letting her know that you’re too valuable to miss out on.

In your mind, you have to believe that they can play hard to get all they want — at the end of the day, they either choose to follow your lead, or it’s just game over and their loss.

When a woman understands that you have something to offer and value your time and energy, she will be more inclined to play the dating game according to your rules; she will avoid being difficult out of intrigue and fear of loss.

Remember: you are the prize. Always.

How to Get More Dates & Options: Eharmony

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Find your potential matches through eharmony, one of the most successful, reputable, and commonly used dating platforms today.

Remember that dating is a numbers game, and online dating gives you access to many women at once, so sign up here and find your new options. 

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