Men of today have it hard when it comes to attracting girls that they actually want.
The dating world has become cutthroat. It is becoming a space where there is very little room for errors.
One mistake with an attractive woman and you’re out of the game.
Because women today have an abundance of options, thirsty men are just everywhere.
All you have to do to understand the current dating dynamics is to check your social media feed on your own phone.
When the average girl uploads a picture of her in yoga pants:
1000 instant likes. 400 thirsty comments. 200 thirstier messages.
But when the average man uploads one picture of him in a 3-piece suit looking clean:
50 likes. 10 comments by his homeboys. 1 DM from his mom telling him he looks like his dad.
Women obviously see the gap between the genders, so how do you expect one to act and behave in such dynamics?
If she’s getting all the attention she wants and more, then the dating game will just be too easy for her, and she won’t need to even bother trying.
All she has to do to get a man to date her is just scroll through the hundreds of matches and messages.
She already knows she’ll always find hundreds of guys who are ready to take her out.
Absolute abundance.
This means that you, as a man, have two options.
You either just give and die single or learn how to be on top of your game.
Either watch these girls on your IG feed and fantasize about them throughout your years or become the best potential mate you can be to get some of that fantasy.
Obviously, becoming a more attractive man and then attracting hot girls are no easy feats.
But maybe you’re willing to put in the work. Maybe you understand that being the man you’ve always wanted to be is just worth it.
To help you figure out what you do and become to attract the girls you’ve always wanted, here are exactly ten things you need to do:
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How to Become an Attractive Man and Attract the Girls You Desire
1. Understand & Utilize the Power of Attention
Men who are excellent with seduction understand the true impact of attention.
They know how attention-driven women really are.
All you have to do is look at how women act when they receive attention in social gatherings, social media, and clubs.
They just thrive when they notice men looking at them thirstily.
They become confident, entitled, and therefore extremely picky.
Should we blame them? I don’t think so.
Wouldn’t you have a problem containing your ego knowing half the girls are interested in banging your brains out?
Pretty much.
And that is the problem with most men: they cannot see past their desire and thirst to realize their own worth.
A lot of men are willing to give away their attention completely for a woman to be kind enough to talk to them.
These men cheapen their attention and self-respect.
The same goes for the nice guys and beta orbiters. They’re willing to “shower women with love” without holding back, making these women their queen.
And then wonder why they’re being treated like peasants and tossed aside for the bad bad boys who don’t do even 20% of what the overly agreeable and accepting Nice Guys and orbiters do.
Nice guys are quick to give their attention. Bad boys are scarce with their attention.
Guess who the girls fall for?
Exactly.
So if you’re willing to attract girls and want them to take you seriously, you need to take your attention seriously yourself.
You must reward women who please you with your attention and remove it when they mistreat you.
Attention is the coin of the realm.
Rollo Tomassi
But knowing that is still not enough.
Not all attention is equal.
Attention from an average man working at McDonald’s is not the same as getting attention from Orlando Bloom.
If you’re a man who has nothing to offer, then removing your attention won’t get you anywhere.
But if you’re a man of value and you be and act in a way others can’t, then your attention will obviously influence women’s decisions.
This is something for you to think about.
2. Interact Boldly & Confidently with Women
Confidence is the first quality women will judge when they meet you. Usually, it’s not intentional.
Because women are wired to seek confidence in potential options.
They innately know that if you have some confidence and self-belief, then you have the ability to stand up for yourself when necessary.
And if you already believe in yourself, what you do, and what you say, then will subconsciously come to the conclusion that you have the potential to protect and lead her and whoever gets to be part of the family.
Of course, none of this is actually considered during your first ten seconds of interaction.
She won’t be thinking, “this man seems like a viable option to protect our new imaginary family.”
But her attraction switch will most likely flip if you initially do show confidence when you approach her.
She can be intrigued enough to continue talking to you and start wondering what you’re about;
“Are you really that confident?”
“Do you carry yourself like a creep or a high-value man?”
“Are you just being friendly or are you actually showing interest in me?”
“Oh, you’re asking for a date? Should I follow your lead and have a good time or will it be a waste of my time?”
All these questions are subconscious thoughts a woman’s mind will go through when they first interact with you.
But that will never happen unless you present yourself as a confident man who goes for what he wants.
You must be confident enough to approach her, and then continue to stay congruent by maintaining authority in your tone and body language while expressing your intentions.
3. Embrace & Show Your Authenticity with Conviction
Authenticity is a vital trait to possess when it comes to creating and maintaining a compelling character.
It shapes your personality to be more memorable and your conversations to be more impressionable.
Authenticity is a necessary quality because women, especially hot women, are getting hit on all the time, and a breath of fresh air for them is always needed.
And whether we like it or not, we live in an extremely competitive dating world where women get an abundance of male attention, so it’s in your best interest to stand out in order to attract girls already in high demand.
Now I cannot tell you how exactly to be an authentic person since this is something only you can figure out.
But I can safely tell you that it is worth exploring because, in a world where most men are afraid to be authentic, it’s not that difficult to stand out.
Most men say the same things to attract girls’ attention and have the same kinds of dates to get to know them.
Why do they do that?
Because they’re afraid to express themselves differently and get rejected for it.
But women have seen it all. They are just bored with men saying and doing the same exact things.
Until let’s say, you, an authentic person, decide to come forward with something different.
It may be something about you that has to do with your appearance, approach, style, art, demeanor, or even speech.
You just decide confidently approach a woman and show her something used to.
And when she sees that “aura” — that special vibe about you, the way you express yourself, she’ll respect how you are unapologetic about the way you behave, think, and speak.
It is that level of self-acceptance and willingness to act as you please is that eventually pulls her in enough to figure out more about you.
Obviously, figuring out more about you equals emotional investment. Emotional investment equals a longer-term bond.
However, your polarizing character won’t be for everyone. When you act or look differently from others, you won’t be every woman’s cup of tea.
But you must know that when you do attract a girl because of your authenticity, she’ll most likely want to stick around knowing she won’t find another man like you.
High-quality, strong, and memorable romantic relationships are better than bland, forgettable, and temporary connections.
So if you’re not quite there yet with your authenticity — if you know you’re just a carbon copy of other generic men, consider taking the time to experiment with your ideas, hobbies, style, and habits.
And then, more importantly, embrace who you are and stay congruent. If you truly believe in what you do, you have to act and speak in a way that shows so.
Don’t cave into conventional ideas and behaviors just because you were told so or because it seems safer that way.
Find that authentic self that resonates with you, and then choose to express it every day, unapologetically.
4. Engage with Women’s Emotions in Interactions
When you fully understand how emotions take over women’s logic when it comes to attraction, you’ll act and speak accordingly.
Instead of treating dates like interviews to “get to know each other”, you could explore what she likes, is passionate about, and from there, take her through a little emotional ride in your conversation.
Instead of exchanging typical information about where she lives and what she does, you could investigate why she does certain things and how she feels about them.
Instead of talking the whole time during dates, something a lot of men do for women’s approval, go a different route: ask her thought-provoking questions to guide her into talking about herself and her emotions.
Because women absolutely love talking about themselves, no matter how shy they make you believe they are.
The key to an emotional bond is not actively trying to impress her and showing her how cool/strong/rich/helpful/kind you are.
But it’s leading her to feel something towards you and encouraging her to open up which develops a strong bond between you and her.
And the only way you can do that is by actively listening to her.
The more you ask emotionally provoking questions, the more she talks, and the more you listen.
The more she talks, the more mentally and emotionally stimulated she gets, and the better the chance she gets attracted to you.
Too many men go for physical attraction immediately, and that’s why they fail.
Few understand that when you attract the mind first and physically escalate in the background, everything else will follow.
5. Use Your Sense of Humor to Elevate Conversations
Having a sense of humor is absolutely necessary when attracting girls.
Forget girls, nobody likes to hang out with someone who can’t have fun and see the humor in situations and conversations.
Your sense of humor will help you crush shit-tests when they come your way to maintain your Frame. More on that later.
Your sense of humor will lighten up the mood and tension when it’s necessary or whenever your initial connection is becoming dull.
Your sense of humor will help you escalate interactions, enough for you to take her to your place.
Your sense of humor will make your company more worthwhile and memorable, which is absolutely necessary to eliminate much of your male competition. Not that you should be intentionally competing, of course.
There is a reason why women say they’re attracted to men who can make them laugh.
Don’t be a serious robot with women, even though the stoic-alpha guys will tell you otherwise.
Enjoy yourself, take conversations lightly, poke fun at her, and tease her every once in a while when the opportunity presents itself.
If you do that consistently, women will enjoy your fun company and will always want to come back for more.
6. Date More & More Women
Women want men who just get it.
They will emotionally and sexually invest in men who know how to play the dating game, no matter how often women deny it.
Because dating is a social dance where you have to do some work initially by approaching confidently, saying the right things at the right time, and then escalating smoothly.
But to her, it should “just happen.”
So for you to attract high-quality women successfully, you have to know how and when to “dance”, talk, remove your attention, push-pull, and escalate.
You must learn how to lead, when to be dominant, and when to step back and make her comfortable around you.
This obviously easier said than done for the absolute beginners of the Game.
But if you want to attract high-quality girls, you’ll have to go through dating experiences to understand what women like, how to play to your strengths, and how to emotionally connect with the emotion-driven creatures that they are.
There is no easy way or shortcuts. You will have to get enough good and bad results to become that man who “just gets it”.
And women will know if you’re good with women or not within a few seconds of you interacting (or not) with them.
Fortunately for you, most men are afraid to act upon their desires.
A lot of men are too scared to simply talk to women. They think attracting girls is daunting, scary, and almost impossible.
But if you do take the initiative, talk to women, fail, succeed, and keep trying, you’re going to go pretty far, eventually.
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7. Build an Interesting Life Worth Living
Put yourself in a woman’s shoes for a minute.
Who would you rather spend your time with and invest the rest of your years in?
Man #1
– Travels across the country and around the world seeking new experiences and adventures.
– Enjoys outdoor activities such as surfing, skiing, hiking, and rowing.
– Stays active and consistently looks for ways to develop physically.
– Practices one or two hobbies frequently outside of work and shares his passions.
– Isn’t afraid to try something different and expose himself to a new environment.
Man #2
– Stays his whole life in one place, forever.
– Likes to stay indoors all the time because *insert boomer excuse here*.
– Always “too busy” to work out — so he accepts being in horrendous shape because he thinks there is not much he can do about it.
– Only looks forward to coming back from home, to Netflix, and being left alone with his chips.
– Feels uncomfortable with any setting that isn’t familiar to him.
It shouldn’t be a tough choice to make.
If you can see the difference, you’ll understand why lifestyle is a huge factor when it comes to attracting girls.
When you already have an attractive lifestyle because that’s what you, as a man enjoy having regardless of who you are with, women will automatically want to be a part of it.
Because women love emotional experiences. They love having fun.
So what do you think would happen if a woman finds a man who knows how to have fun outside of relationships?
They imagine having this man share his enjoyable lifestyle with her.
Think about being in that position.
Think of the adventures and stories you’d have when you’ve experienced what others are too lazy or afraid to go through.
Think of the impact of sharing these adventures later with your circle of friends, dates, your future partner’s friends and family, etc.
More social proof for you. More reasons to attract girls.
Having a productive and fun lifestyle also gives you a reason to look forward to life, which will translate well with a long-term partner — she’ll look forward to staying with you.
But if you continue to choose a safe, boring, and comfortable lifestyle, you become flat, boring, and susceptible to misery thinking, somehow and one day, one woman will just ignore all of that and love you for “who you are” and not what you have.
The truth is if you got one life and you’re not willing to live up to your potential, then why would a high-quality woman want to be part of that?
8. Work On Your Style & Take Care of Your Body
A lot of dating gurus out there will tell you that looks aren’t important.
But that is absolute BS.
All you have to do is look at the women who fangirl over their favorite male celebrities.
Even though status due to fame plays a huge role in this case, what you’ll always notice women talk about are looks.
“OMG look at his dreamy eyes.”
“Look at those abs ahhh.”
“Check out his arms. My heart.”
Women pay attention to every physical attribute of men. They may not care about looks as we men do, but they will still definitely care about how you look if they see you as an option, so never disregard your physique, no matter what.
Obviously, you can’t change everything about your looks, but there’s enough you can work on for the entirety of your life.
A lot of men think they’re lost causes when it comes to looks because they’re fat, short, and bald.
They just blame their genetics, give up, and then die sad virgins.
Sure, genetics are involved and you definitely can’t change being short and bald.
But you can definitely change being fat.
You can surely become ripped and attractive enough to attract girls high-value men would like to have.
Proof?
Look at 50-year-old Jason Statham with his much younger and taller supermodel wife that is Rosie Huntington-Whiteley.
Jason is bald and 5’8. Genetics. Rosie is one of the most beautiful celebrities out there. Also genetics. Yet they’re together and have been so for a decade.
Now, you might argue that Jason is an A-list celebrity with high status and fame behind him, and those do help, but you don’t really need to attract female A-list celebrities either.
Even if you do find them, you still can’t maintain long-term relationships based solely on status alone.
Jason must be doing something right other than being famous to keep a gorgeous woman for that long.
Maybe he has Game? We don’t know.
But what we do know for sure, is that he’s in good shape, especially for a middle-aged man. That has to contribute to his value.
And this is what you also need to do.
You must take care of your physique, style, and hygiene if you want to attract girls who are feminine and attractive.
No matter how bad you think you look, understand that the physical attributes that you can improve on will easily take you from a 4/10 to a 7/10 or even 8/10 if you also work on your style and sense of fashion as well.
Those little physical details here and there that you might think won’t make much of a difference, can actually turn your whole sex life around if you actually bother to make these changes, one detail at a time.
What’s even better about improving your looks is that once you do start paying attention to your body and style, you’ll notice a huge change in how you feel and think of yourself, which will give you even more confidence that will make you more noticeable and interesting to women, and so on.
Every small positive change you develop and work on will compound and help you attract more girls with less effort.
The results will, of course, not show up overnight, but they will have no choice but to manifest and make a better, stronger, and more confident version of you.
So get to work. Get ripped. Get a style going for you.
If you do that for long enough, one day you’ll wonder why you ever had to settle in this “previous” poor physique for so long.
9. Get Your Freedom by Getting Your Finances in Order
Can you get women without being rich?
Of course, you can.
In fact, there’s a good chance you won’t be able to attract girls that are actually likable and worth spending time with unless you know how to maintain their interest without your money.
Money isn’t directly linked with desire, but it can help you become better as a man, and then that development will help women desire you.
When you have enough money, you can create a fun lifestyle that attracts girls.
When you have enough money, you make your own life easier and less stressful, which makes room for your relationships to become happier.
But what’s even better is having your own job and enough money to finance your freedom.
This is something most men don’t have. And freedom alone is extremely influential to you and your lifestyle.
Imagine being your own man who makes his own money without having to answer to anyone else.
How do you think this affects your mindset?
A free man is full of abundance. He is free to act however he wants and be wherever he wants.
And women will absolutely see that.
Once they see a man who’s confident and courageous enough to successfully pursue unconventional paths to his self-made wealth, the dating tables will turn.
Because women appreciate men who are capable enough to get their finances in order, especially long-term relationship-seeking women.
But even if you’re just looking for short-term relationships and plates to spin, having your finances in order is very helpful.
Women now have an abundance of options, and even if they’re just seeking men for fun, it will make sense for them to choose the highest value man they can get.
This means that it’s in your best interest to level up your financial situation for a better version of yourself in all cases — when you get your life in order, women will follow.
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10. Build and Maintain a Strong Frame of Mind
You might have good looks to get you to the door.
You might have money to facilitate a fun and interesting life.
You might even have the status and fame to attract girls.
But if you don’t have Frame, none of these will even matter.
Frame is the most important thing to have to maintain attraction.
Men with weak Frames end up being the nice guys, white knights, and beta orbiters.
Men with strong Frames end up the ones attracting girls.
How to Build Frame
Frame isn’t something you can build instantly. It’s not something that you can just call upon whenever you like.
Frame is a skill you need to work on every day and in every interaction to attract girls on a regular basis.
For it to become second nature to you, you have to always know whose Frame you’re operating in, when you’re losing it, and how to calmly take it back.
All without being emotional and insecure about it.
Because as you actively attempt to build and maintain a strong Frame for the first time, you’ll be inclined to react emotionally whenever you think you’re losing your Frame.
You’ll expectedly and initially become too ego-driven, afraid to let things slide or go when it’s necessary, and accept anger as the main drive to maintain Frame.
Unfortunately, there’s not much you can do other than to experience the process of building Frame, looking back at how you’ve handled your interactions, learning from your mistakes, and then calibrating your Frame accordingly.
When it comes to Frame and attracting girls, you have to fully understand that:
a. You only initiate and stay in interactions that add something of value to you. If the interaction is only benefiting the woman you’re dealing with, then you’re operating in her Frame.
ex: buying her a drink, helping her with errands, taking her out on expensive 1st dates, etc.
b. Your attention is women’s currency — if you squander the only valuable thing you have, women won’t respect you.
ex: complimenting her too much, constantly fixing her emotional problems on the phone, liking and commenting on all her photos on social media.
c. You’re prepared to let go of a woman who is not willing to stay in your Frame, wants to control you, or mistreats you.
If your girl thinks she can have you for as long as she likes and when she prefers, then she won’t have genuine respect and desire for you.
ex: complains when you go out with your friends, tells you what you should and shouldn’t do, mistreats you privately and publicly, complains too much, gives you ultimatums when things don’t go her way.
Good Frame is Good Game.
If you master maintaining Frame, women will happily submit to you, support you, desire you, and even help you perform better as a man.
Stay Consistent with Your Development
You’ll never become more attractive overnight just by reading this and then winging it during your interactions.
The dedication you need to integrate these traits and actions to attract the high-quality girls you desire is a lifetime process that never ends.
You will not be able to perform all these changes in a short time and you will make a lot of mistakes as you figure out how to calibrate what you learn during your interactions with women.
However, you also have to know that most men don’t even start or try their whole lives.
A 1% progress executing these changes and taking action already gets you ahead of 80% of the other men who are too lazy, defeated, and scared to even try.
By being consistent with your progress, you’ll eventually carry a powerful and seductive mindset and physique to build you a life that attracts the girls you desire.
There are no shortcuts to the hard work. Otherwise, we would have all just dated whoever we’ve wanted and you wouldn’t be here reading this article.
You must put in the work to become the attractive man you’ve always wanted to be.