“I Can’t Stop Thinking About Her. What Should I Do?”

So there’s this cute chick you can’t stop thinking about.

Maybe she is this hot girl you work with but can’t really get close to.

Maybe she lives nearby and you do talk to her a lot, but it’s not going anywhere.

Or maybe you’ve already been on numerous dates with her but still, she’s not invested enough in you; not as much as you are in her, at least.

Perhaps she’s someone you already know and have been with, but you just can’t move on, even though you know you should.

Whatever your case is, if you’re here, then you’re dealing with a situation where you’re not getting what you want, so you’re either still thinking of ways to develop the connection you have or just wondering how much “better” life would be like for you if you had her.

You’re obsessed and probably even head over heels for her, and you want that to change.

You want to be in control of your emotions — to be cool, calm, and collected, so you can make the right decisions around her and not focus on other more important things in life.

I’ve got you covered. Here’s what you need to realize and do when you just can’t stop thinking about her:

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Why You Can’t Stop Thinking About Her

1. You’ve Got Oneitis

If you’re obsessed with a woman, then you have Oneitis.

That is believing in the “The One” when it comes to romantic relationships, and acting accordingly.

It’s making one woman the center of your universe and prioritizing her needs before yours. 

It’s leaving your job, friends, and family to move in with her and selflessly accommodate her needs at all costs.

It’s refusing to see that other women exist because you’re too obsessed about having that one girl in particular.

It’s thinking that you’re incomplete as a man unless you have that special girl.

It’s believing that life is imperfect until one specific girl shows up to make it absolutely perfect. 

If any of this applies or even sounds good to you, then you’re dealing with Oneitis. And, for your sake, you have to end it before it pushes you to make bad long-term decisions that could damage you for good.

As a matter of fact, men lose their homes, families, friends, jobs, and even lives because of Oneitis.

But if you do understand that a single person won’t put more meaning into your life, you’ll eventually think of her less as time goes by, because you fully understand that there’s more to life to experience than the company of one human being.

If you truly see the problem with making a person your life purpose, you’ll have fewer reasons to keep thinking about her, in the long run.

When you’re not subscribed to the Disney version of love, you know that if you’ve ever found a woman you thought was great, you’ll always find another one.

There is no ONE. This is the soulmate myth. There are some good Ones and some bad Ones, but there is no ONE.

Rollo Tomassi

2. You’ve Been Trying Too Hard

If you cannot stop thinking about her, then it’s possible that you have already displayed behaviors that have put you in the friend zone.

Because if you think about it, players clearly don’t obsess over the girls they both date and lose.

Friendzoned men, on the other hand, can’t stop thinking about that one girl who won’t even do the same for five seconds.

It’s safe to say that if you haven’t been dating a girl yet find yourself always wondering what she’s up to or how she feels about you, then you are friend-zoned.

And you choosing to remain stuck in the friendzone is only going to make you even more obsessed with her.

This is the typical cycle most obsessed nice guys and white knights fall into. 

If you know you are caught up in the cycle, then it’s important you stop trying too hard to accommodate her — it’s exactly what’s keeping your obsessed.

But this is easier said than done for a lot of guys because they think restraining their own selves will kill their chances of being with the woman of their dreams.

And even though this might be true, what these guys fail to realize is that they most likely already have ruined the possibility of ending up with their girl the first time they’ve tried too hard because of their obsession.

You cannot have a healthy relationship dynamic with a woman when you’re worshipping her and giving her more attention than she actually deserves.

Women, being instinctively clever at reading emotions and intentions, can easily smell your obsession a mile away.

And it turns them off.

At best, a girl will find it flattering that she has that much of your time being spent on thinking of her but will not settle for you, and instead, settle for the guy who doesn’t give her even 10% of the attention you give.

At worst, she’ll take advantage of you and string you along in order to get free validation for her ego, more attention for her own satisfaction, and whatever else she could think of to make her life easier.

All at your expense.

3. You’re Afraid to Lose Her

Fear of loss is a necessary part of forming a scarcity mindset.

This fear influences how you see your own worth and that of others.

When you adopt a scarcity mindset, you learn how not to appreciate your own self.

Everything you have to offer becomes, in your eyes, low in value.

Your words don’t mean much, that’s why you have to speak more to compensate, even when it’s not necessary.

Your actions don’t amount to much, which is why you have to constantly act to prove yourself — something that pushes people (girls included) away from you.

Fear of loss keeps you on the hamster wheel with conviction.

It’s the kind of fear that keeps saying more, acting more, and trying to prove your worth even more with no healthy long-term goal in sight.

And that’s why you can’t stop thinking about her.

You have put so much work into “keeping” her short-term attention that you can’t go back to not living without her.

You’d rather suffer and burn out, damaging your inner peace and dignity than lose her.

The sad part is: she sees through all of that and will, most likely, have no desire to stop you.

Because why would she?

She’s on a pedestal being treated like a queen, while you’re out there somewhere obsessing over her like a fan.

You give her everything because she’s your everything, while she gives you nothing since you’re making it too easy for her.

4. You Lack Options

A couple of questions to give you a realistic perspective on options:

How do you expect yourself to behave when you have one single option?

Do you expect to act rationally and confidently when you know someone is the only person you have?

What goes through your mind when you realize that you can’t stop thinking about just her and that she’s busy thinking about someone else who probably isn’t you?

How would she behave when she knows she’s your only option?

Do you think she would respect you, your efforts, and your time?

Or would it make sense for her to get complacent with you?

Wouldn’t it make more sense for her to take you for granted?

I mean, if she is your only option and if she can replace you quickly within minutes, who has the upper hand in this “relationship”?

Every single relationship is a power dynamic, so who do you think has more influence on the dynamic between you two?

Do you think the person who has the upper hand continuously thinks about the other?

Don’t you think the person who is needed more will naturally have the ability to attract more options?

After all, you are always only as good as your options.  

5. You’re Stuck with the Fear of Rejection

One of the reasons why a lot of men can’t stop thinking about a girl is that they have held themselves back from pursuing the girl for so long that they trap themselves mentally and get stuck.

When you desire someone but aren’t taking chances to talk to her because you’re too shy or hesitant, then you’re naturally going to obsess over her.

In your mind, you’ve made her this scarce forbidden fruit that’s on a pedestal so high and away from your reach.

You fear her rejection so bad that you’re willing to passively watch from the sidelines than actually participate and acting upon your desire.

If this situation applies to you, then most likely you’ve already lost even though you haven’t gotten that rejection you fear.

Because you’re no longer acting naturally and confidently around her thanks to your pedestalization, and any sort of indirect approach you take is going to come across as weird and inorganic.

How to Stop Thinking About Her

1. Actively Stop Simping

You may not be able to consistently stop thinking about her, as of right now. And that’s perfectly fine.

But what you can definitely do is stop performing the actions that get you obsessed with her, immediately.

Most likely, there’s some investment on your part that has gotten you to a preoccupied state of mind you wish to leave.

What you have to understand is: you’ll never fully move on unless you stop your actions that contribute to her value and your obsession.

If you have already been talking to her for months on end and haven’t gone anywhere, then it’s time to pull back.

For good.

Stop giving your attention away for free, it’s only getting you more invested and getting her more disinterested.

Stop trying to please her and be her first person to go to when you’re not even with her. This only devalues the idea of being with you.

If she can get you to act like a boyfriend without you being one, then why in the world would she want to go the extra mile to date you exclusively?

You’re already just there.

So stop simping.

And in case you’ve been already with her or are trying to move on, then stop performing the actions that get keep you thinking about her, like stalking her social media accounts, responding to her texts, figuring out ways for her to notice you.

Once you stop performing the actions that you can definitely control, your thoughts, which seem uncontrollable, will follow.

2. Spin More Plates

A man with options is always respected and appreciated.

He is respected because he has an abundance mindset and won’t settle for anyone and anything less than he deserves.

Since he holds himself in high regard, people will treat him accordingly.

When you have options, you’ll naturally avoid doing the stupid simp stuff that gets you disrespected in the first place.

You knowing that, at any one point in time, you could replace anyone you’re with who’s not acting right will give you no reason to stick around and tolerate bad behavior that gets you friend-zoned and cheated on.

But obviously, this is easier said than done. 

To learn how to spin more plates and have more options, you’re going to need to learn the basics of Game.

You have to take the time to learn how to talk to women and form connections with them.

Unless you’re a famous celebrity, girls won’t fall out of the sky and on your lap.

Once you learn and continue to learn the art of picking up the women you think are attractive, you’ll be able to live a life of abundance when it comes to dating.

And women will feel that, which will boost your power in relationships even more.

BUILD A ROTATION OF WOMEN, without approaching women. These secrets are passed down by a webcam owner and strip club owner in his Ph.D. Program.

3. Get a Date or Get Rejected

If you’re having problems with someone you know who you haven’t been with but want to, then taking action is the simplest way to end your obsession over her.

What you need to is first “humanize” this girl inside your head by pursuing her like a grown man, without being clingy and needy about it of course.

If you ask her out and she says yes, great.

You’ll know your hesitation turned out to be a complete waste of time.

And if you get rejected, that will hurt your feelings in the short term but it will still stop you from thinking about her and the what-ifs for good.

Rejection is always better than the regret of never trying.

The consequences of your actions are easier to deal with than the consequences of staying silent and wondering how far you could have gone.

You’re not going to get the perfect moment to approach and talk to her. Get it over with and be at peace. 

4. Become a Better Option Yourself

This is definitely the most important and effective solution to help you get rid of any unhealthy obsessions.

You can’t stop thinking about another human being if her company is the best thing you can afford.

This also means you can’t keep thinking about someone when you’re already busy doing things that are more important to you.

You can’t stay obsessed with a person when you have too much to offer that other women notice and make themselves available to you.

Having an actual successful life saves you from ever having this scarcity mindset, to begin with.

Think about it…

Does it seem like Lebron James is the type of guy who is too occupied with his craft because of a girl at the gym he likes?

Do you think 50 Cent will slow down his grind because of that one woman he can’t have?

These people are already too obsessed with their own success to worry about a girl they met at work or college.

And this is how your mindset should be.

Your life should be full of meaningful dreams and purposeful actions to be taken to keep you fulfilled.

When you’re a man on a personal mission, you maintain a healthy and selfish mindset that keeps you away from temporary and unnecessary distractions.

When you’re on your purpose, you naturally live in a state of abundance, which not only makes you attractive to women, but it saves you from making poor dating choices that hinder your progress.

You have to become a better option by working on your crafts to be able to move on from relationships and women who aren’t staying in or adding to your life.

By being a better option, you will naturally attract better options.

At the end of the day, you attract what you are.

Keep Yourself Busy & Let Time Do The Rest

Now that you know exactly are the steps you need to take to help you stop thinking about her, it’s necessary that you understand how rewiring your mind out of unhealthy preoccupation takes time.

Since you’ve likely already spent too much time invested in obsessing over someone, it will only make sense for you to invest more time into other more productive habits to finally move on.

Even though it may seem difficult at the moment, understand that being consistent with your work into becoming a better option and seeking other options will reward you with so much that you’ll look back and wonder why you ever had to think about that one person, to begin with.

Focus on what you can control and time will do the rest.

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Related articles:

• • 7 Signs She Doesn’t Love You Anymore & What You Can Do About It
  • 6 Telltale Signs She’s Just Playing Hard to Get
  • 13 Effective Tips to Make Her Miss You & Live In Her Head Rent-Free
  • 3 Not-So-Obvious Signs You’re Just Her Orbiter
  • How to Finally Get Out of the Friend Zone & Stop Being the Nice Guy
  • How to Get Over Someone You Love