How to Make Him Miss You and Commit: The 11 Effective Tips You Need

Not fully having the person you’ve always wanted to be with is always going to be painful, and it happens to the best of us.

You try to make that person happy enough to make him miss you more when you’re not around, but it doesn’t seem to work. If anything, he just disappears for longer.

You show him commitment and love hoping he’d do the same, but he’s just not available emotionally, at least as he used to before.

If you’re stuck in a frustrating situation like that, here are some tips that will help you have a more engaging bond between you that he eventually comes back for more:

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1. Your Looks Get Him to Your Door

I’ll be perfectly honest with you: attraction for men is based on looks, for the most part.

We’re not going to sugarcoat this and make it all about just loving who you are or paying more attention to chemistry or personality.

Good looks will always get him to your door and then your chemistry and feminine attitude will make him miss you when he’s out.

There’s bad advice out there saying that men aren’t that focused on looks when it comes to attraction, but you’re only going to waste your time if you’re dealing with a man who isn’t that physically attracted to you.

And why would you even be with such a man anyway?

You deserve a man who genuinely feels attracted to you to the point where he misses you when he can’t see you and has no problems committing to you in the future, knowing he always has a hot girlfriend at home waiting for him.

Not only that, but when you’re with an attractive guy who just desires you, you’ll feel even more attractive as a woman, so when it comes to intimacy, you and he will be always fulfilled.

Because at the end of the day, intimacy is what really keeps a relationship together. Without it, you’re just passionless roommates with fantasies about being with other people — fantasies about being genuinely desired.

So never believe those who tell you that focusing on looks makes you shallow or unfulfilling.

Of course, it’s not the only thing you should consider for attraction, and we’ll get to the other things men really care about, but it would be a waste of great opportunities if you don’t take the looks part seriously to get the man you really wish to have.

When you look more attractive, you’ll always feel more attractive.

And when you do feel it, your man will automatically feel it, and so you create this healthy cycle of attraction that lures him in, getting him more obsessed about you that he eventually wants to commit.

Always put in the effort to look better whenever you can, within reason.

High heels, tight dresses, being in shape, and make-up. You know what you need to do, girl.

Pay attention to the details and make it seem effortless; the more feminine and attractive you become, the more unique and different you appear to him.

Because, let’s face it, not too many women out there today really take care of themselves the way women used to before.

Oh well, easier competition for you.

2. Give Him Time & Space

He’s never going to miss you when you’re always just there.

He’s never going to think about you when you’re always talking to him.

I understand that sometimes you just can’t want to talk to him, see him, and be with him for as long as possible, but you need to look at the whole picture to get what you really want: him always missing you in the shorter term and always committing you in the longer term.

The way attraction really works is that it manifests when you’re not there.

Sure, he sees you and gets attracted to you, your looks, and your attitude, but it’s only when you’re giving him time and space alone is when he really thinks about you.

And that’s how strong attraction builds and stays; it’s him wondering when he’s going to see you again.

It’s him remembering your looks when you had those heels and dress on when he secretly wanted to just have you all to himself.

It’s him thinking about your feminine and charming attitude that he wants to be around you again.

Give him time and space every once in a while to also let him know that you’re not needy or clingy. A lot of men, especially if they were very successful, have a problem sharing their time with a woman who nags them into commitment all the time.

Don’t be that girl; be understanding of his drive and desire to do other things that make him happy.

Once he notices that it’s always pleasant being around you and that there’s no pressure on him to have to see you, he’ll want to see you.

Make sure you’re busy doing what you love and dealing with others so that giving someone space becomes natural and easy for you.

You don’t want to be thinking about him all the time — that will only make you question your decision to not pursue him frequently.

And whenever you do question your decision, remember this: attraction is built in your absence.

Struggling with your dating process?

If you want actionable tips for getting more commitment out of the man you desire, check out the “His Secret Obsession” guide.

3. Be Your Feminine Self Around Him

Your looks will get him to your door, but it’s your attitude that will make him stay.

A lot of women out there today are losing their femininity being proudly masculine, loud, and too aggressive.

And to be quite honest with you, men who have a lot to offer have no reason to be with a woman who is willing to butt heads with them all the time. They’d rather settle with a feminine woman who is able to support and give him the things men cannot offer.

You will stand out drastically compared to these girls when you’re comfortable in your own confident and feminine self.

When you have a presentable, pleasant, and womanly attitude, the man you like will notice you more and notice the other women less.

If he sees you proudly embracing your femininity, he’ll have more reasons to commit to you because, as all men do, he craves that rare, gentle, and refreshing female company.

Even if he’s dealing with women who are more physically attractive than you, he’ll be smart enough to realize to actually be with someone, it makes sense to be with the feminine lady with who he can be his masculine self.

And contrary to what most people think of femininity today, it’s not that you have to be weak to win him over; you shouldn’t be meek at all; you still need to maintain your boundaries for self-respect if you want any respect from him.

But you have to embrace being a woman who fully supports her man in what he does and the path he’s on — a woman who understands that her man has his goals, needs, and desires.

Compliments his life so he can complement yours.

Once you display this feminine attitude consistently, you’ll be his gem that truly stands out.

4. Be There for Him When the Opportunity Comes

Successful men generally don’t ask for help or support. It’s a pride and ego thing that men on their purpose tend to keep in check.

But even the best men aren’t perfect. There will come a time when the man you’re with really needs help but won’t ask for it.

When you see that, know it’s the best time to give him reasons to commit.

When you show your support as you see him trying to achieve what’s important to him and help him whenever he does need it, he’ll understand that he can rely on you and that you’re in this relationship for the long haul.

Once he feels that you’re truly there for him, and not just saying that as most people do, he’ll have more respect for you. He’ll have more genuine reasons to commit to you, knowing he actually benefits from being with you more than what he’s used to, him just being alone.

This is a key difference that will make him miss you when you’re not around; he knows most women don’t really have a lot to offer except intimacy, so when you come along and then show him you actually want to add a lot of value to his life, you’ll make it very hard for him not to commit to you.

5. Make Him Feel like He’s THE Man

Want to make him miss you a little more whenever you’re not around?

Make him feel like he’s the best man in the world. This is a feeling you can give him that automatically eliminates your competition out there, especially if he’s the kind of guy who has no problems getting girls.

You see, most women out there today are more focused on themselves rather than giving and pleasing their own partners.

They’re all aiming to be treated like queens but very few of them treat their partners like kings.

And that’s why most of these same women cannot keep the man they really want long-term; they don’t know how to make a man feel special. Instead, they focus on what the man brings to the table.

“Does he treat me right?”

“Is he making me happy?”

“Does he take care of me?”

These are all questions women subconsciously think of when they are choosing a man to settle with or just date.

And these are valid questions you should be asking, but if you want to make him miss you whenever you’re far away from him to the point where he considers commitment all the time, you need to leave a strong impression simply by caring enough about him.

If you want him to commit to you then there are other questions you have to ask yourself to win him over and keep him for good; the kind of questions that separates you from the average women out there:

“How can I make him feel special?”

“How can I make him feel more successful… like he deserves the best?”

“How can I help him become a better man?”

“How can I be a positive influence in his life?”

These are questions that, when answered correctly, can really push him to commit without you even necessarily asking for it.

When you focus on a man’s needs that are not just intimacy and small talk, you give him an image of what it’s like keeping you for good.

Because again, how many women out there are actually investing in their own partners’ needs?

Most of these girls either are just in it for themselves or just don’t have the awareness and capacity to think of their men like that. Some of them think that it’s all about intimacy — that physical affection is all that a man needs. That what happens in the bedroom is enough to make him miss them outside of it.

And while intimacy is a necessary requirement, you have to be smarter and ask better questions to get better rewards, otherwise, everyone would be having great and fulfilling relationships.

Thinking of ways to please is even more crucial when you’re dealing with a high-value man because a man like that will always be able to get intimacy somewhere else, so how are you going to become special to him and have the stable and fruitful love life you want?

Make him feel like he’s the man long enough and he will get addicted to you. And only you.

6. Let Him Know You Want Him. And then Disappear.

This might seem obvious, but most women out there are too shy and proud to show men their desire.

Too many dating coaches will indirectly tell you to make him pursue and don’t give him a lot to work with.

But even if you do make it difficult for him to get you, what do you think happens after he gets what he wants?

Exactly, he’ll be gone.

It makes sense not to seem too easy or get taken advantage of. By all means, have your boundaries in place for basic self-respect.

You can still, however, be a little more clever when you know what men appreciate: validation.

When a mans find you attractive and you’re bold enough to show him that you’re attracted, you become memorable and even more desirable to him

We generally like it when an attractive person we like reciprocates the desire we have for them.

Nobody likes jumping through hoops to be with someone, especially if the man you’re dealing with is extremely productive and successful. You don’t want to give him too little to work with that he just sees you as being disinterested or too proud to give back.

You make him miss you more by showing that you want him and then minding your business.

Give him affection and then space. Show him love and then pull back a bit. He needs the reason to pursue you some more.

When you go through this cycle while maintaining a fun and feminine attitude, he’ll not only crave you, but he will also want more of your attraction towards him.

Don’t play too hard to get, right off the bat. He will not miss you or commit if he can’t even get the time to enjoy your companionship.

7. Always Find Fun Things to Do Together

A perfect and healthy relationship will always need things in common for you to talk about or do together.

It might seem pretty obvious, but if you’re only just going on normal dates or having the “Netflix & Chill” routine, things are going to get old quickly and you both won’t have much to bond over outside of the bedroom.

If you’ve been dating or just hanging out for quite some time and you want the guy to miss you or commit further, you’ll need more than just the typical ordinary activities that most people already do on a regular basis.

You need to look for ways to create memories that add to both of your lives, and the best way to do that is to simply do things together.

Hiking, training, cooking, dancing, finding ways to help him with his own work, or even starting a new class for something you might have not done before, there are so many ways you can leave a stronger impression on a consistent basis and add depth to your relationship.

Men bond when they do things together and women bond when they just socialize together.

So if you want to give a man more reasons to commit to you, suggest that you do things every once in a while. Sometimes you have to speak the other person’s language so that he feels more connected to you.

When a man first has fun with you in the bedroom and then outside of it, he’ll be less likely to fear commitments and get less excited about his other options, because, with you, he’ll realize he can just have it all.

Because, again, most women just don’t do that. They proudly expect commitment to just fall into their laps, and when they don’t get it, they react negatively by just either just disappearing or flat-out demanding more — something high-value men don’t respond to.

Think about it:

Why would you want to be with someone who just demands your time and commitment?

Why not find ways to be a consistently positive and fun influence in his life instead? Wouldn’t that make him enjoy your presence so much that he wouldn’t want you to go?

So make the effort to connect as long as he’s interested in you, that way you’ll make him miss you more when he’s out there dealing with other people, realizing that everyone else’s company pales in comparison.

8. Keep Yourself Productive & Busy

You’ve known the necessary things you need to do to make him miss you and eventually commit, but there are things you need to make sure they’re taken care of — things that have to do with just you.

Having activities and things to look forward to, that has nothing to do with the guy you want, will make you feel more fulfilled and content than just being frustrated or lonely for not being with him.

When you’re aiming to connect with a guy from an already more fulfilled state of mind, you tend to carry good energy and positive vibes in your interactions, and that is extremely attractive to other people.

But when you don’t have much going on, you’ll be more needy and clingy without you even realizing it, and it’s going to reflect in your conversations and mannerisms with the guy you want.

Nobody commits to negativity, drama, or loneliness. Nobody who has a lot to offer wants to stick with people who carry unenthusiastic scarcity mindsets.

In order for you to actually attract a healthy relationship, you need to have a healthy lifestyle yourself.

This could be as simple as having hobbies, working on your fitness, or figuring out ways simple to make you feel and become better as a woman. Only you know what really works for you.

Generally speaking, the best relationships always have separate healthy lives that come together at one point.

And when you have a separate fulfilled life on your own, not only will you have more to share and talk about, but you’ll also have an abundance of great energy that will draw in the people you care about.

It won’t be about you actively trying to get the guy to miss and commit to you, but it’s about being happy and positive enough that he just wants to have you around him for as long as possible.

9. Make the Effort As Long As He Does

Attraction is tension.

And there is never going to be tension there when you keep trying to either push him away from you by giving him a lot of attention or trying to pull him towards you by always giving him less.

Sure, not giving any attention works with the common unattractive guys who will DM you on IG and mindlessly pursue you, but when it comes to attractive guys who know their worth, you need to pursue him and he needs to pursue you.

When you’re being feminine, pleasant, active, supportive, and fun towards him, and then not be demanding of his time or commitment, he will at one point miss you, so he will naturally start wanting to be with you more.

It’s crucial that you give him the opportunity to pursue you by you not pursuing him, every once in a while.

It’s this pursuit that makes someone invested in you. It’s having to actually ask you for your time and presence over and over again that makes a guy miss and commit to you.

Because when you’re consistent enough without being needy and pushy about as a lot of girls do, he’ll just not want to lose you in the longer term.

So always make sure there is some investment on his part in the relationship. You shouldn’t want to be with someone who just isn’t willing to make any effort at all.

10. Never Give Him Ultimatums

One of the most common mistakes women make when they want more commitment from a man is giving ultimatums.

It’s telling him he’s either going to be with you officially or you’re going to leave.

Giving someone an ultimatum is simply giving him the illusion of choice out of frustration and a mindset of scarcity.

It’s you just trying to get what you want out of someone with no consideration for what he actually aims to be or to have.

Most women make that mistake with the excuse that they just don’t settle for what they deserve.

And this is true, you shouldn’t be settling for something that just doesn’t work for you at all. Life is too short to be living untrue to your desires and plans.

However, ultimatums never really work, and here’s why:

1. Nobody wants commitment by force. When you’re giving a man an ultimatum, he already knows that this won’t be the first and last one; he sees that as a needy and controlling behavior that doesn’t really serve him. He sees that you’re acting selfishly, and that could be enough valid reason for him to just walk away.

2. Even if a lesser guy does accept your ultimatum, you’ll only get resentment and ingeniousness as a result. Him giving you commitment when he had no choice slowly brings unfaithfulness and deception later on because deep down he never really wanted to just be with you and only you, right from the start.

There’s nothing wrong with asking for a relationship or having the commitment talk; in fact, if a monogamous relationship is what you truly want, you should ask for it after months of dating. You need to always make it clear where you stand and what you expect so you don’t waste your time or get your feelings hurt.

But how you approach the idea of being in a relationship is crucial.

It’s only after you’ve been investing into your relationship, making sure he’s happy and loved, and showing him that you have so much to offer than just intimacy is when you propose the idea of commitment.

When you know you make him miss you on a consistent basis and when he does show, in his own way, that he does appreciate you consistently, you can have this conversation.

Because when you’re having the talk after you’ve given him too many reasons to stay without confronting him about being committed as a lot of other women do, you automatically give the guy you want to the impression that you’re secure, have a lot to offer, and that he will miss out on not being with you.

If he then doesn’t want to be committed at all, then you nicely and respectfully let him know that you both want different things and that you’re going to look for the kind of relationship you want elsewhere, just so he knows how things will go for you.

11. Be Genuinely Open in Your Conversations

People, in general, are attracted to genuineness, and to be genuine with a guy you like, you need to be vulnerable and open to him to a degree.

By being open to him, you’ll have better quality conversations. You’ll have a stronger emotional connection that brings out the caring side of him, which is something that will make him miss you whenever he’s not having that for long.

A lot of people will say you need to be very mysterious in the initial stages of the relationship to be attractive, and while this is true to an extent, you have to understand that mystery doesn’t attract men the way it does for women, especially if these men are masculine.

Men are hardwired to provide and help, and this is why being vulnerable, to a healthy extent, adds a lot of depth and uniqueness to what you both have.

Don’t be afraid to share with him your challenges, happy moments, or even the little silly things you find funny throughout your day.

When you embrace the open and genuine self around him, he’ll help you whenever you need some support, even if it’s just listening. That’s something that actually pulls him in to emotionally invest in you.

By relying on him within reason, you slowly give him a newfound purpose to work on, and so commitment to him, later on, won’t be that big of a deal.

Because he’ll then be naturally already committed to making you happy.

Keep Your Efforts Balanced & Your Expectations In Check

If there’s a common theme in these tips out there, you’ll notice it’s all about balance and patience.

Developing a relationship has to come naturally, and keeping your efforts balanced is important to nurture a bond long-term.

Don’t make demands and expect him to follow through, but lay out your expectations of a relationship and make sure you’re both on the same page or at least want the same things later on.

Instead of making demands, make sure you’re actually always bringing something to the table so he knows you’re valuable.

Intelligent men see value as clear as day when it comes their way. You don’t even have to tell him, he’ll see for himself, and when he offers his attention and support in his own way, then you know you’re on the right track.

Don’t force the dynamic, but just influence the relationship enough that you don’t come across as needy, but as genuinely caring and wanting the best for him.

Consistently influence his days with your charming and pleasant attitude, and you’ll be on his mind all the time, wondering how he managed to find an amazing woman like you.

Don’t chase him or nag him, but pursue him within reason. Contrary to a lot of bad relationship advice out there, men love to be pursued too.

Don’t play hard to get too much, you won’t make him miss you when he isn’t invested in someone he never really had.

Don’t be too available or patronizing towards him, he still has to earn you so that he then wants to commit to you. We all had something we still had to work for and never want to lose, relationships included.

After all, you can’t always have the people you want in your life, they must choose to stay for you to be genuinely happy with them.

Looking for a more in-depth guide on how to get the man you want obsessed with you? Check out the “His Secret Obsession” guide.