12 Definite Signs She Doesn’t Love You Anymore (& What to Do About It)

So you’re probably here because you’re in a dead-end relationship and your girl just doesn’t love you anymore.

You keep dreaming of these days back when your girl was more passionate, happy, and eager to please.

But, for some reason, she’s no longer that person; and you’re not sure why.

Have you done something wrong?

Does the relationship feel like it’s more work than it used to be?

Is she always grumpy and less pleasant around you than she once was?

What if she does love you but this passionless person you’re dealing with is only temporary?

What if trying to win her over back is actually pushing her away?

If you find yourself asking similar questions, then here are the signs that she doesn’t love you anymore, and then what you can do to hopefully turn things around in your favor:

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1. She Just Doesn’t Care Anymore

Love vs. Hate vs. Indifference

They say the opposite of love is hate, but that’s not true.

Love is an emotion, a strong one. Hate is also another emotion that can be equally intense.

To love someone, you obviously have to care. To hate someone, you need to care enough to carry negative intense emotions for that person.

Both are investments, just in opposite directions.

In fact, a girl can hate you and still be attracted to you.

“How so? you might ask.”

If you look at attraction for what it really is from a woman’s perspective, it’s more about respect than it is about love.

Have you ever seen a woman who’s attracted to a man she doesn’t respect?

Never.

Men who don’t have any self-respect make women as dry as the Sahara desert.

Men who are too afraid of loss and rejection that they hesitate to maintain boundaries don’t even register to women as sexual entities.

That’s why the white knights and typical nice guys finish last.

That’s why these nice guys don’t get any.

All they get is cold apathy.

Indifference in the form of flakes, one-word texts, short attention spans, and, at best, quick mom kisses on the cheek.

On the other hand, bad boys aren’t liked necessarily, but still, seem to get all the ladies.

Almost every single woman will have a bad boy living rent-free inside her head for years on end.

But do women love bad boys?

On occasions.

Do they hate bad boys?

Most of the time, yes.

When you look at how women get frustrated at them, there seems to be a lot of hate and frustration involved.

Hate for not getting what they wanted — the commitment and servitude these women are used to having for their daily ego boosts.

But what is it exactly that gets these women hooked anyway?

It’s the bad boy’s competency, always putting himself first, knowing his worth, and lots and lots of self-respect.

Having said that, it’s important to know when you’re still in the game.

Does she love you?

You’re still in the game.

Does she hate your guts?

Still in the game, believe it or not.

Does she not even bother with your arguments or care enough to know what you’re up to or how you’re doing?

Does she respect your time and boundaries? Or does she do whatever she wants while you watch helplessly?

Has she stopped complimenting you?

Has she stopped trying to please you?

Has she stopped initiating conversations?

Has she stopped being jealous over you?

Has she stopped wanting to put in any work to make you happy?

If you’ve been asking yourself any of these questions for quite some time, then you could be pretty much out and there’s a good chance she doesn’t love you anymore because you’re not giving her a reason to.

2. She’s Always Physically Avoiding You

A woman who is in love with you is a woman who generally wants to spend time with you.

She’ll initiate conversations, ask you to hang out every once in a while, and asks you random questions just for fun or to see what you’re up to.

She doesn’t have to be on you 24/7, but at least she’ll prioritize your company over others most of the time, and that’s how it should be.

If she consistently comes up with excuses to not physically be with you, then there’s a good chance she doesn’t love you anymore.

And a good chance she’s prioritizing someone else over you.

Note that I say physically be with you because a lot of grown-ass men still think that her wanting to text you all the time is good enough to show that she still likes you.

Sure, it can be a good indicator that she enjoys talking to you, but that doesn’t mean she sees you as a sexual being worth committing to.

If she avoids meeting up and engaging with you on an intimate level, then you’re just one of her male buddies.

Maybe the best of her male friends, aka orbiters, but that’s no trophy to be proud of.

She’ll still bang another man.

And then tell you about it.

Because you’re still her favorite man to talk to.

After all, a woman’s most valued social currency is attention.

If you give it to her for free and out of generosity, she’ll no longer have any incentive to please you; you would have already given her what she desires the most.

That’s exactly what breeds excessive familiarity and boredom in relationships.

Not only that, but your attention will not have much value because you’ve given it away without her having to work for it.

She’ll, later on, continue to find someone else’s attention — high-value attention from a high-value man who doesn’t give it away easily.

She’ll fall for him completely and will choose to be physically intimate with him in return, and then give you the “I’m tired” or “just not in the mood for that today” excuse.

Understand that if she’s physically avoiding you, then probably she doesn’t love you anymore and you could be just wasting your time.

3. She Talks Negatively About You to Her Friends

A woman’s actual thoughts about you are never going to be exposed to you directly, no matter how honest you think she is.

The only people she will be comfortable enough to be 100% honest around are her best friends she hangs out with or at least used to on a regular basis. It’s similar to our locker-room talks when we joke around, have our man-talks, and celebrate our sexual conquests.

Obviously, you’re never going to know about what she’s actually saying and neither should you bother to, but at one point you’re going to find out.

One way or another, the truth will reveal itself to you and you’ll know.

So if you do find out about her talks with her friends about you in a disrespectful way, then this is a definite sign that she doesn’t respect you, and therefore, doesn’t love you anymore.

Because women really care about their image, and the relationship they choose is a huge part of that image.

Once she abandons your reputation, then you’re no longer part of her public presentation — you’re now just a person she lives with and not necessarily someone she really wants to be with.

4. She Suddenly Has More Male “Friends”

The Truth About Male-Female Friendship

Women don’t need male friends.

Might seem a little backward to most people these days, I know.

But women in relationships don’t really have to maintain male friendships.

Now, you might say respond to that with the very common question men respond with, “Why would you say that? Shouldn’t I be confident and secure enough to let her deal with males?”

To this I say: this really depends on timing and context, but generally speaking, you shouldn’t be dealing with this situation.

In reality, women don’t really need male friends unless it’s for attention to feed their sometimes insatiable egos.

Women and men don’t really connect on a mental and emotional level the way they do with their same-sex friends.

A woman is never going to understand and relate to you the way a good male friend would.

This doesn’t mean that male-female friendships don’t work because they obviously do.

But this kind of friendship tends to get complicated when one side is slightly more attractive than the other.

What usually ends up happening is that one person falls for the other, and then it goes downhill from there, even when one of them is already in a relationship.

Let’s face it; if your girl is slightly attractive, chances are these male friends aren’t really friends.

And your girl isn’t dumb — she is an emotional being who can read human beings better than you and I can.

Of course, she’s not going to say no to free attention, but she’s always going to present it in a way that is of no threat and harmless.

The guy you “shouldn’t” be worried about is the guy you definitely should be worried about.

If you needed further evidence, all you have to do is look at your own past history with female friendships — how many of these female “friends” have you wanted to sleep with?

Let’s ask a better question: how many of them actually were like sisters to you?

I bet they were just the ugly ones.

Not that there’s any shame in thinking that way, but you need to set things straight when it comes to your girl and her friendships.

Unless she’s dealing with male coworkers with clear boundaries set on her part, she could and should be satisfied with just you and her female friends in her life.

The Monkey Branching Preparation

It might surprise you, especially if you’re in a very long-term relationship, but women are instinctively masters at monkey-branching.

If your relationship is ever put to an end, you best believe that she’d already had one or many options lined up for replacement.

Unless you’re the best option for her.

When relationships head south for a consistent period of time, you might notice women opening up to male interactions more than they normally would, given that they had boundaries, to begin with.

They’ll get a little closer to male co-workers at work. Men who are “helping her with work” all of a sudden.

They’ll have more acquaintances at the gym. Men who are “helping her with her workout.”

Everywhere she goes, there will be a sudden increase in male interaction, and all could be excusable and innocent, on paper.

But when your relationship feels a little off, you just know it.

You might shrug it off and use the “I’m a secure guy” rationalization to avoid having to deal with the situation, but that would be just you avoiding a problem you know that’s coming your way.

Since love and attraction can’t come without respect, a woman loosening her boundaries with men is a very clear sign that she doesn’t love you anymore, and is instead scouting for replacements.

Because she doesn’t respect you.

She doesn’t have to be doing this instinctively, but that doesn’t even matter at all since how she feels about you is why she is loosening up and not her awareness about it.

If you confront her about it, she’s most likely not going to own up to her actions and just admit it. And if she does admit her mistake and apologize, nothing is actually going to change.

In fact, she’ll just come up with better excuses next time.

If you don’t change, she has no reason to do the same.

You’re the one who has to be in control of the direction of the relationship, not her.

Remember: Respect -> Love -> Commitment.

5. She’s Always Out Late with her “Girls”

Obviously, there’s nothing wrong with your girlfriend or wife hanging out with her female friends.

She should maintain a healthy circle of female friends for the kind of emotional support and entertainment that you’re not going to be able to provide as a man, and you should always be encouraging her to have that.

Keyword: healthy circle.

An unhealthy circle of friends is going to pass its toxic thoughts in your own relationship with her pretty much immediately.

Women get affected easily by the friends that they have; they’ll pick up on each others’ mindsets and habits, and then reflect them in the rest of the relationships they have, yours included.

If your partner starts hanging out with her female friends who are out late at night all the time, you’re going to be dealing with a lot of bad behavior that will interfere with the boundaries that you two have already set and kept the partnership going.

And if you allow the unhealthy friends to take over her mind for long, you’ll find yourself losing your voice in the relationship. She’ll slowly grow accustomed to the “freedom” her female friends have, and whenever you notice things getting out of hand, she’ll tell you to stop being controlling, close-minded, or insecure about it.

Before you know it, you’ll be having to deal with her new male “friends” with suspect intentions on a regular basis. Male friends who are her friends’ friends and members of the new unhealthy circle that you’ve allowed your girl to take part in.

This kind of dynamic always spins out of control and takes a toll on your boundaries in the relationship when she keeps enjoying other people’s company instead of yours.

It will not be enjoyable for her to go out on dates with you anymore, because the “fun” outings with her girls will seem shinier and more entertaining.

Your attention will not be enough for her anymore, because she’ll secretly enjoy getting hit on by random dudes in bars who, according to her rationalization at that point, won’t know she has a partner, so… oops?

At that point, it would only be a matter of time before she one day tells you she’s flying out to Vegas with her friends for some “quality time”.

If you find yourself having to deal with this kind of setting when it wasn’t really the case before, then you have to know that she’s no longer interested in maintaining her boundaries to keep the respect she has for you.

She doesn’t love you anymore when she avoids spending time with you and prefers the illusion of freedom in being with others all night every weekend.

6. You Catch Her Subtly/Overtly Flirting with Others

You might think this one doesn’t need clarification, but if you read the e-mails I get, you’d be surprised.

First of all, when it comes to dating and mating options, men and women are wired differently.

Men can be in love with one woman yet get the urge to sleep with other women. That’s why men flirt with other women and still can genuinely want their partners.

You can call it greed if you will.

But that, of course, isn’t an excuse if you’ve already promised your girl a committed and monogamous relationship.

Women are different, they’d rather have one partner at a time when it comes to a committed relationship. They can’t be too bothered about flirting with other dudes unless she’s just unsatisfied.

So when you see a woman with a partner flirting with other dudes, most likely the case is that she doesn’t love him anymore and is intuitively (and maybe purposefully) looking to monkey branch to the next higher-value man.

If you’re dealing with a similar situation and whether this happened right before your eyes or not, you have to understand that making the same mistake beta men do by reasoning with her is out of the question.

You can’t talk to a woman into being attracted and therefore genuinely faithful to you.

In such situations, the best thing to do is damage control and removing yourself from the situation, completely.

Another common beta mistake men do is giving the relationship another chance and forgiving the girl.

But such disrespect should not be tolerated, no matter what she says and the number of excuses she comes up with. Her actions are always going to speak louder than words, so never get sweet-talked into “working things out”.

Sometimes there is nothing you can do to fix it. There are times when you just have to walk away and never look back.

7. She Becomes Much More Independent

If your girl suddenly becomes less dependent on you intentionally, then this could be another sign she doesn’t love you anymore.

Here’s why:

Girls love it when men help and do things for them. It’s a sign of trust and commitment from them to want you to help them all the time; that she wants to be taken care of by you.

You don’t have to always oblige of course, especially if it’s just a compliance shit test on their part, but know that the intent can be positive, so when that fades away, you have to know where you stand.

When you notice that your girl is increasingly becoming independent and not needing you to help anymore, especially when that wasn’t the case before, then this is an indication that she could be preparing for a life without you, and obviously, doesn’t love you anymore.

8. You’re Always “Forgotten” & Not In Any of Her Plans

When a woman is happy being with you, she’ll always and naturally be inclusive with you.

She’s either in events with you or she’s sharing her events with you.

No matter how insignificant these events or stories may seem, there is always going to be this stream of texts and random screenshots filling up your phone.

This means that if she doesn’t love you anymore, then this behavior fades away.

It will first start with her subtly just not being interested in sharing these minor details to clearly having more major plans set up without getting back to you or asking for your opinion.

That’s not to say that once a woman forgets about you then she doesn’t love you anymore or that she has to share and get back to you in every single decision, but when you see this extreme shift of behavior from being considerate and genuinely interested in your opinion or takes to genuinely not even bothering, then she’s no longer “there.”

If you’re dealing with this situation, then as much as it can be frustrating, you have to know that trying to force the situation to where it was by being too direct or asking her about it won’t work.

It will only make you look more desperate and this will push her away from you even more.

9. She Feels Extremely Guilty Towards You

When a girl is out of love with you, most likely she’ll not know why she doesn’t love you anymore. Unless you’ve done something clearly stupid.

Because, most of the time, girls fall out of love when you’re doing everything they’re asking you to do.

When you’ve been placating her for too long and act as the Nice Guy, she’ll lose her respect for you first, her desire towards you seconds, and then her love for you third.

Once the attraction and love start fading in her background and she doesn’t know why, she’ll start feeling guilty towards you.

She’ll start wondering, “even though I’ve asked him to do everything and although he is being a perfect partner, my love for him is fading. Why’s that?”

Girls react to this guilt differently. Some will try so hard to be in love with you, which doesn’t work.

Some will just accept that they’re not that into you, so that guilt trip will be short and quick.

And others will rationalize an excuse for not being interested in you and shift the blame on others, you included.

10. She Continues to Criticize You

When a woman checks out mentally from the relationship, she’ll continue to find more reasons to not be with you.

That’s not because she’s evil; most of the time this is done unintentionally.

But that’s because she doesn’t have a man who understands how to run the relationship and make her feel like she needs to work for his affection and attention.

And since she’s no longer attracted, all these quirks that she used to like about you are, all of a sudden, annoying qualities that “should be changed.”

All the activities that she said she used to enjoy with you are, all of a sudden, taking too much of her time and she’d rather do something else with someone else.

Now most guys would start panicking when they start noticing the lack of passion, and instead of stopping their investment and slowing down to figure things out for themselves, out of fear of being completely rejected or dumped, they double down their efforts to maintain the “relationship”.

They start badgering the girls with questions about their feelings and why things aren’t working out.

They start bombarding her with gifts, “surprise” trips, and being a little extra nice towards their, at this rate, soon-to-be-exes-officially purely out of scarcity.

And what does a woman feel when she smells desperation and fear?

Exactly.

11. She Asks for a Break

If you girl asks for a break, she’s no longer your girl.

The number one mistake men make when they’re told that their girl needs a break is that they actually follow through with her decision.

They think that giving the girl time and space is what the girl actually needs, but what ends up happening is that they find out, when it’s too late, that the break was just an excuse to cushion the breakup.

And that’s not even the worst part — what usually also ends up happening is that the guy finds out “his girl” was using this break to see other guys and line up some replacements.

Now, if this seems a little farfetch’d to you, then understand this:

No girl in her right mind will ever want to take a break from a relationship she truly wants unless she has a very good reason to do so.

Girls are typically the ones who seek commitment from the guy they like, so when she taking a break to “figure out what she wants” or to “work on herself” more, then she’s just giving you an excuse to not have that commitment with you.

Time apart should scare her, but she’s actually asking for it.

At this point, she’s so far gone and definitely doesn’t love you anymore.

So if you’re in this situation, then you have to read this.

12. You Feel It In Your Guts

Push aside all the excuses you tell yourself to make your connection seem better than it is.

Ignore all her excuses that you choose to act upon to see your relationship through tinted roses.

Put away all the conveniences you’re afraid to deal with because it just seems “easier” sticking around.

Forget about all the justifications and what she says for a minute, and then take a look at her actions.

What do you see?

What does your gut tell you?

Because most likely when our instincts try to reach out and tell us that things aren’t working, we rationalize this voice using our ~~minds~~ excuses to avoid the conflict of having to leave or switch things around.

If you’ve been with this girl for a while and she doesn’t love you anymore, you’ve probably chose to continue sticking around because things have declined so slowly that it might be hard to notice how bad things are.

If your intuition indicates that your relationship isn’t going well, most likely it is, so listen to it.

Don’t overthink, and instead, watch her actions, then you’ll have the clear answer that has been in front of you all along.

The One Mindset You Need to Turn Things Around

Obviously, if she has already mentally checked out of the relationship for a long time, there might not be much you can do other than to bounce off the dead relationship before you get dumped, or even worse, cheated on and then dumped.

But of course, every relationship is different, so it’s going to be up to you whether or not you want to try to change things for the better.

The good news, however, is that whether or not you want to continue the relationship, the solution is still the same.

Let’s face it; you need to be someone better than who you are now, with or without her.

Assuming that she doesn’t love you anymore because of you being overly nice and servile to the point where she has lost respect for you, she’s not really going to be with you unless you become a better version of yourself.

A version that’s much improved that it easily gains the attention and respect of others.

Even if you do lose her, you will still have to upgrade yourself as a human being to attract someone even better than her anyway.

You cannot control her genuine desire for you, but you can control your actions and behavior, and her desire then might be a byproduct of your change.

Notice how this advice is framed: your upgrade comes first, and then her desire can follow. If it doesn’t happen, nothing changes on your part.

This is the mindset you should be carrying at all times.

It’s very important that you do change only for yourself first and not just for her, otherwise, it’s going to be an inauthentic change that’s not going to sustain itself.

This change starts with you not arguing with her anymore.

No more emotional reactions from your end. You only act.

No more needy behaviors or asking for her approval, you’re a grown-ass man — you know what you need to do.

You don’t have to be mean or cold towards her, but you have to become independent enough to seek what’s best for you.

A little bit of selfishness is key to start gaining self-respect.

What You Exactly Need to Do to Become More Attractive

Work on Your Looks

Physical attraction is absolutely necessary to raise your value and become a better version of yourself.

Forget what a lot of girls say about not caring about looks.

When it comes to attracting ladies, good looks will eliminate a lot of the competition you might be having.

Even though there’s not a lot you can do about your looks, being in shape is the easiest and most direct way for you to become more attractive.

Once you do start working out and get into better shape, your girl will be intrigued and wonder why you’re trying to become a better man.

This is the beginning of what they call Dread Game.

The good thing about working out is that you’ll be in a better place mentally, which combined with a good physique, will definitely attract other women out there.

And your girl will notice.

She won’t be happy about it, at first.

But that doesn’t matter. You’re doing this for yourself and for the sake of having future candidates, remember?

Stay consistent with your physical improvements long enough, and you’ll realize that you’re getting more respect as time passes by.

Before you know it, you’ll notice the sexual tension slipping in, and then it will be up to you to get to decide what you want to do next.

Note: this all fails if you have to explain yourself. Never tell her why you’re acting the way you do, even if she asks.

The point of your transformation is and should be implicit and selfish.

Work On Your Finances

Getting your finances in order obviously helps you in the long-term.

Make sure you’re always progressing in your career to become as financially stable as possible for more freedom for you and your family if you have one.

Your lifestyle and quality of living are entirely dependent on your finances, so if you don’t have your shit together, you’re unfortunately going to attract only low-quality women who will usually be upset about your poor lifestyle.

If you don’t have your shit together, women shouldn’t even be on your radar.

But if you already have a girl, it should be no surprise if she’s not 100% happy given the lifestyle you’re currently offering her.

That doesn’t mean that women should be there only for your money, but it doesn’t help when she does see other men out there with more to offer. Her hypergamous instinct is always going to be there… ticking.

So set yourself up for success first in your own career or maybe a side-hustle if you don’t like your supposed career, and the happy women will then follow.

Until then, relationships with high-quality women will be hard to maintain. It’s not impossible, but it’s definitely difficult and not doing you any favor if a long-term relationship is what you’re looking for.

If you’ve got just 60 minutes a day, by learning one of these skills, you will find financial freedom and unlock dating options in life only the top 1% of men could ever get.

Check out these in-demand skills at Hustler’s University.

Work On Your Status

It is said that you’re the average of the 5 people you regularly hang out with.

So your circle and the status it provides directly affects your relationships because status is everything when it comes to attracting women.

In fact, a woman can be attracted to you just because another one finds you sexy.

That’s why girls literally faint and swoon over male celebrities — the celebrities’ status is incredibly high that they don’t have to do anything to pull women. They just have to be there.

Most likely, you’re not a celebrity.

But here’s what you can do to improve status:

1. Stop hanging out with loser friends who weigh you down.

2. Meet new people who you can relate to and offer actual value.

3. Learn Pickup.

Knowing how to pick up girls and flirt with them is an extremely underrated skill.

You don’t have to actually pick up girls to get laid, but talking to them will teach how to become a more charismatic smooth-talker, and that within itself will give others the impression that you do have more status — through your social skills.

Not only that, but pick up will teach you what life is actually like when you’re dealing with women, something that you wouldn’t be in touch with when you’re stuck with one woman who just doesn’t care about you for far too long.

Hold Yourself to a Higher Standard

It sucks to live with someone who doesn’t love you the way you do for them.

Sometimes we mess up relationships by being too comfortable that we lose the tension needed to keep things actually together.

When people get too comfortable in knowing that they have nothing to lose in a relationship, they get lazy and complacent to the point where there’s no need to try and please the other person.

And if you grow satisfied with the other person not trying to make you happy, they lose respect for you.

When you make your girl the center of your universe and make her your biggest purpose, she’ll lose respect for you.

Which is why you always have to work on becoming a better man.

Always make it clear that you have high standards for her to keep trying.

She might get frustrated occasionally and want that comfort, but she will respect you and therefore love you for it.