15 Telltale Signs She Is Over You & What You Need to Do About It

An unstable, unsatisfying, or dead relationship is one of the most toxic dynamics you can choose to stay in.

Sometimes we stick around hoping we can fix things with the girl we really like and get us back on track — to enjoy our company together like we used to when we first met.

But unfortunately, there are times when we just keep going, not knowing when to stop and if the relationship is worth sacrificing more of our time, energy, and maybe even our dignity.

We end up regretting not leaving earlier. We regret not using the time lost in finding someone else who appreciates us and what we have to offer.

You need to be able to tell when is the right time to drop everything with your girl and move on, and to help you figure out where you stand with her, here are the signs she is getting over you, and then what you need to do about it:

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1. She’s Completely Closed Off & Indifferent

The opposite of love is never hate.

Love and hate are strong intense feelings that come with emotional investments, so if a girl hates your guts, you’re still pretty much in the game.

And if she calls you an a-hole or a jerk, you’re still pretty much living in her head rent-free.

Girls hate you when they can’t figure out a way to tame and control you thanks to you not listening to their orders or abiding by their rules.

In fact, this is how you should frame your relationships. You can only maintain a woman’s desire for you if she sometimes hates you for not being a doormat.

She wants you to obey her but she needs to obey you.

So if there’s a little hate going on, then that’s perfect as long as you balance things out by being loving and caring every once in a while. This is the perfect ingredient to having her respect you, finding you attractive by not getting all she wants, and having healthy reasons to stick with you.

The problem, however, starts when you’re consistently too nice or too disrespectful.

When you’re monotonic, flat, and a one-dimensional one-trick pony that’s incapable of spiking her emotions and desires, it becomes a matter of time or other options before she gets bored or fed up with you. It’s that gradual loss of interest and attraction for you.

This is what the opposite of love is — it’s indifference and lack of any emotion, good or bad.

And this has nothing to do with how you argue, her silent treatment, and how you deal with your differences or her trying to discipline you. This has everything to do with just not wanting to deal with you at all.

It’s not having many arguments that are the problem, but it’s not having any at all is what you need to consider. When she doesn’t even want any conflicts with you no matter the consequence, that’s one of the first signs she is over you and emotionally checked out.

2. She No Longer Cares About What’s Important to You

A woman who cares about you will pay close attention to your interests, boundaries, thoughts, and even the way you talk and move.

The more attention she pays to you and the more she tries to support and please you, the more respect and love she has for you.

But it’s often common that guys lose this eagerness and drive from their women. These guys may start their relationship correctly, but when they get complacent or more emotional as the relationship progresses, they force their women to slowly devalue their relationships and positions.

Generally speaking, relationships are reflections of you, as a man.

Women will follow your lead if you make sure you have a lot to offer and if you understand how to keep a women’s interest within the boundaries and standards you have clearly set right off the bat.

That doesn’t mean that women are perfect and never make mistakes, but if you’re doing well as a man, it’s most likely going to influence your relationship positively and your woman will want to be part of your life.

On the other hand, if you loosen up, let yourself go, forgive her too many times for making mistakes, follow her lead because you don’t want to be responsible for the direction of your relationship, then she will gradually and subconsciously withdraw from her position until she is over you.

And rightfully so.

3. She Disrespects You. A lot.

When a person genuinely doesn’t care about you, it will be hard for them to put your standards and boundaries into their consideration.

They will choose to act upon their own rules or how they feel, and there’s little to do for you when it gets this far.

When a woman constantly keeps mistreating you, it means she doesn’t value you enough to have to treat you as you should be treated.

It may be that she has no fear of losing you and that she took you for granted, but if that’s the case, then that’s on you.

It also may be that she never really cared about your boundaries in the first place because you were never clear about setting them. That would also be on you.

Perhaps it’s the other way around. Maybe you have gone to the other side of the spectrum and abused the respect she has for you until it’s no longer there. This would be something totally on you too.

Recognize the disrespect when it comes your way and you’ll be able to see where she stands with you.

If you know for a fact that you’re consistently not getting the treatment you think you deserve, then consider it a sign she’s just over you and not emotionally invested enough to keep things going with you.

4. She Started Taking Her Fitness Very Seriously

“What? What’s wrong with her working out?” you might be wondering.

Here’s why you should see this as a subtle sign she’s over you:

When a woman feels like she’s done with you, she’s naturally going to consider getting back to the dating market. She’ll consider the options she already has and if she can do better than sticking with you if you’ve messed up too many times and for far too long.

If your relationship isn’t or wasn’t going well and if she was never really the type to work out, to begin with, and if you see her suddenly taking more care of herself at that point in time, then she’s probably putting in the work to secure a new dating option by looking the best she can.

Women understand how their looks influence their dating potential, even if they won’t admit that, so when you see all these conditions apply in front of your eyes, it would be time for you to connect the dots.

Don’t even ask her why she’s working out; she’s not going to tell you that she’s actively trying to replace you.

Never follow what she says for clues. Instead, always look at what she’s actually doing to understand where you and her are at.

5. Girls Night Outs Are a Thing All of a Sudden

A woman who loves and respects you would rather spend her time with you than be with her single friends at a club in a tight dress, where there are other guys looming around and fishing for some fun.

Although this might be super obvious to any man with a brain, it’s what girls say in this situation that confuse their boyfriends and husbands to get away with it.

“I’m just having fun with my friends. I haven’t seen them in a while. Why can’t I go?”

“Don’t be jealous, baby. You have nothing to worry about, I won’t spend too much time there. Nothing’s gonna happen, I promise.”

“Don’t be so controlling. I can do what I want.”

“It’s Patricia’s birthday, hun. I wanna go celebrate with the girls. You don’t want me to celebrate her birthday?”

“Don’t be so insecure.”

Of course, after a woman finesses a guy and emotionally manipulates him to stay put, she’ll go over there to the club with no real intentions in mind other than to have some fun with her friends, just as she told you.

But you know what’s going to happen there. Guys will hit on her and you’ll be hoping she doesn’t do anything stupid. After all, you’re a “secure” who doesn’t want to control your girlfriend’s or wife’s behavior. You want her to do what she thinks is right.

And sure, she might turn down all the guys approach her as she just told you.

BUT..

Then comes this one guy who changes everything for both of you.

This one guy shows up at her table. Confidence is on point. Game on point. Looks on point.

She tries to resist him a bit, remembering that she has made a promise to you.

But she realizes that for the first time and ever since you dated her exclusively, she’s actually having fun talking to and flirting with a man who isn’t you.

And because that guy is a smooth operator who knows what he’s doing, he slowly disarms her delicate walls that she has put up purely out of moral obligation.

Things then start to escalate — she has secretly yearned for that raw excitement and tension for a long time, and so she allows the stranger to take up more of her space, physically and emotionally.

With every flirty gesture and subtle touch, the stranger taps into her subconscious mind, giving her more reasons to play along with him. Giving her more pleasure and excitement.

And then, of course, one thing leads to another, she “coincidentally” ends up at his place, gets the fun she has been deprived of, and then comes back home 4 AM riddled with guilt, fear, and shame.

Then you have to deal with what comes next.

6. She’s Looking for Attention Elsewhere

Intimacy to you is what attention is to her.

If she feels that she doesn’t get attention, she’ll feel lonely and unhappy. And if she’s not really feeling you, she will be lonely and unhappy if she’s exclusive with you since your attention isn’t really doing it for her.

Not all attention is the same. There’s high-value attention, which is special and it’s something a woman should seek from you if you have your stuff together. It should be your attention that needs to be appreciated and prioritized above all.

Then here’s also low-value attention; it’s cheap, redundant, boring, and unrewarding. That pretty much accounts for 90% of the male attention out there.

Low-value attention is found everywhere and it’s never respected. You can find that in the form of boring “hey, how r u” double text messages on dating apps, hearts, and fire emojis in IG comments, and you acting needy because you haven’t been intimate with her for a while.

High-value attention is what women crave. It’s taken seriously and respected when it comes from a guy with a blue check-mark on IG, a stranger with good Game approaching her at a club, or the most attractive man at a gym hollering at her.

Of course, it’s not easy for an average woman to get a DM from Drake, but until she gets that kind of attention that is at least more valuable than yours, she’ll start subtly collecting beta orbiters left and right using innocent excuses for why they’re in her life.

She’ll instinctively assess her options to see which of the dudes in line is worthy of her time.

Once she finds a good enough option that is, at least, better than you, she’ll slowly switch into a passive-aggressive mode to sabotage the relationship and pray for you to call it quits.

Because after all, most women don’t really aim for a breakup unless you’ve done something really stupid. They don’t like dealing with the consequences of hurting you, so they’d rather you end things instead.

7. She Changed Her Style & Appearance

Nothing like a complete makeover to get back in the dating market fresh and on-point.

Tighter pants, shorter shorts, outfits that show more cleavage, high heels that she always complained about before, new hair style, etc. You know the drill.

On it’s own it ain’t a sign really, but when a woman is giving off other signs that she is getting over you, a change in her style will naturally take place, especially if your relationship has been going on for long.

She knows that if she wants to change her relationship, she needs to start with herself.

8. She’s Uncooperative

This is perhaps the more immediate and telling sign she is over you.

If a woman gradually stops giving you something she has always been doing for you or just finds new arguments or ways to disagree with you, then she has most likely fallen out of your Frame.

She’s uncooperative because she either wants you to give her something you already know you’re not giving her or she no longer finds a reason to listen to you anymore.

When she’s not feeling you anymore, she’ll talk back, throw fits, and challenge you whenever possible, so she can give herself more reasons to not have to continue the relationship anymore.

Women don’t usually do this intentionally, but it’s your job to, again, recognize her behavior to tell what she really feels about you, not what she’s saying. Because once you start engaging in her arguments, you put yourself in her Frame, get dragged into her tangents, and get more confused by her illogical reasoning.

Understand that her being uncooperative simply means she’s not or trying not to settle into your Frame. The more you react, the more authority she thinks she has over you. And the more control she has over the relationship, the more she disrespects you even more.

Until one day she loses the desire to even argue. That’s when you know she is over you completely.

9. She’s Acting All Shady Around You

Along with other signs mentioned here, when the patterns of her behavior change, and they definitely will when she’s no longer invested in you, she’ll act shadier and shadier around you.

You’ll first notice that she’s being less forward with you. She no longer tells you the details of what she was up to and who she was with, even though that’s what she was consistently doing with excitement since you’ve first met.

She’ll act a bit strange when you’re together and phone notifications come up.

She’ll make sure her phone isn’t clearly visible to you when she’s texting or checking out her feed.

She’ll think longer before she explains where she wants to go with her friends or why she doesn’t want to go on a date with you in the weekends.

When you do get this feeling in your gut, this slight anxiety that races your thoughts looking for clues and connections between the shady dots, you’ll slowly realize that she is over you and looking for your replacement to ease her way out.

10. She Starts Comparing You to Others

It’s safe to say that if a woman is truly in love with you, she’ll be all about you and only you.

She’s not going to be interested in what other men have to offer since she already has her needs met by you.

That’s not to say she’ll always be loyal to you and be completely into you until the end of time. You still need to maintain her desire and your Frame to keep the relationship always going strong.

Once you start getting too distracted, lazy, or emotional towards her, you’ll lose her full attention, and if not looked after for way too long, this attention will have to go somewhere else — someone else.

Whenever you see your girl start comparing you to others, maybe exes, colleagues, family members, friends, and even celebrities, you should take it as an indication that she’s not really all about you.

It’s a situation that shows you she’s not really in your Frame as much as you’d like, especially when the comparisons are boyfriend or husband-related matters.

And most definitely if it’s masculinity-related.

Once she starts comparing and subtly criticizes your manhood, you should see this as a sign she is getting over you and what you have to offer as a man and partner.

11. There’s No Passion in the Bedroom

You’ll never see a relationship doing well without intimacy.

Even though that sounds extremely obvious, men stuck in miserable relationships and marriages don’t seem to quite get it.

And that’s because they’re dealing with the fear of loss, loneliness, and costs of separation.

Instead of actually seeing their relationships for what they are, they will make excuses so that they don’t have to deal with the reality that their relationship absolutely sucks.

If a woman doesn’t want to be intimate with you on a consistent basis, then most likely, she is just over you, and it’s just a matter of time and the right option to come to her so she can leave and enjoy being intimate with someone else again.

Intimacy is the key to any lasting relationship.

Without physical affection, there will be no mutual love and desire, for her at least, to keep on moving forward with you — the monogamous relationship just becomes an invisible cage tightened up by BS excuses like “staying for the kids”, “being too busy”, and “being too tired all the time.”

Your time is running out. Stop wasting it with someone who just doesn’t really want to be with you.

12. She Gives You BS Excuses for Why Things Aren’t Working

Speaking of BS excuses, you’ll be hearing a lot of those when your relationship goes downhill and you’re trying to figure out how to “fix” things listening to what your woman is saying.

Because women are extremely emotional beings compared to us men, they don’t often look at their relationships from a logical perspective, instead, they let their emotions take care of their decisions.

That is unless she is over you completely and just done; only then might she see things for what they really are and only if you’re the one who has clearly messed up.

But, generally speaking, when things aren’t working between you two because you’re not being the good masculine leader who guides and supports her the way she needs, not the way she wants, she’ll huff and puff throughout your time together — instinctively testing you over and over again.

She’ll not tell you to be a strong and capable leader, but she’ll just say, “God, it feels like I’m your mother.”

She’ll not tell you that she isn’t attracted to you because you’re no longer putting in the work to keep her physically engaged, she’ll just say, “I’m tired,” every single time you try to be intimate with her.

She’ll not tell you that she doesn’t have respect for you because you’re always asking her for guidance and how to take care of her, but she’ll just say, “I want to be alone and work on myself.”

She’ll not tell you she doesn’t see you as a man she wants to be with because you’re too nice, forgiving, and passive, but she’ll say, “it’s not you, it’s me.”

She’ll give you an excuse to avoid conflicts as much as possible and because she doesn’t quite see what it is you’re missing — she instinctively knows you’re lacking something and slacking, but she doesn’t necessarily see the relationship dynamics clearly without the lens of her emotions.

And she doesn’t have to.

Because your job as a man leading the family and relationship is to just get it.

You don’t see a boss asking his employees how to be a boss, do you?

13. She Is Very Active On Social Media

What’s the best way to get over someone?

It’s to get under another.

That is the quick-fix girls know instinctively work, for the short-term. They know that to move on from the current relationship, they have to test the waters and see what other options they can attract.

Once they secure someone who is much better than the guy they’re half-with, then they will stir up arguments and excuses to monkey-branch from one relationship to the other.

Because most women just don’t like to be alone. Behind the facade they usually put up to mask their fear of loneliness and lack of attention, most of the time, they don’t abandon a relationship even if she is over the guy unless she has secured another.

And what is the best way to mass advertise yourself in the market?

Social media.

Women know the power of social media. They know men are on there giving their attention to any woman who’s slightly above not-so-attractive.

Along with the change in her style, when she also leaves you out of the pictures, literally and figuratively, on her social media profiles, that’s when you know she is over you and doesn’t want you to get in the way of securing her replacement.

When your attention is not enough for her, she’ll want that from other men out there thirsting over anything that moves, and so she will utilize the betas’ thirst to give her the ego boosts she was deprived of in her unhappy relationship.

14. You’re Not Included in Her Future Plans or Conversations

If you’re not somehow included in her future plans, especially those you’ve already set up together at one point in the relationship, then this is good sign she is over you.

And it’s not going to be too obvious unless she talks to you about it; as you listen to the plans she’s making, she’ll be less likely to invite you to join her, and more likely to avoid informing you of what she’s up to.

You’ll slowly feel this invisible wall being created between you — each of you will have your own conversations, plans, and appointments until you eventually become roommates instead of partners.

This will also be more evident if you’re together and dealing with mutual friends of yours, you’ll notice that she doesn’t bring you up in her conversations as much as she used to when everything was going just great.

Less “we”, more of “I”.

When she has mentally separated herself from you, then you know for a fact that she is over you for good.

15. She No Longer Gets Jealous Over You

You know you’ve hit rock bottom when she no longer cares who you’re spending time with or whether or not you’re already seeing someone else.

She doesn’t have to be jealous over you all the time, that wouldn’t be a healthy foundation for any longer-term bond with someone.

But if she’s not a little territorial over you, then she is just over you to the point where she doesn’t want anything to do with you.

She has either taken you for granted and knows you’re never going anywhere, thanks to the excessive investing on your part, or she never really was into you as much as you’ve thought.

In both cases, sticking around and acting in the same exact way in your relationship should not make sense to you.

Okay, She’s Over You. How Do You Deal with That?

1. Don’t Allow Your Emotions to Respond for You

Let your emotions respond for you, and you’ll be disrespected some more.

Bottle them up for a while, talk to a family member, rant to your best mates about your situation..

Whatever you do, don’t have an emotional breakdown or rant with someone who’s already distant from you.

This vulnerability shows only shows her how much control she has over you, and no woman is attracted to a man she thinks she has total control over.

And if she is getting over you, the last thing you should do is to actively try to get her back.

Because when you try to sweet-talk, apologize, or give her more of your attention when she doesn’t want to be there, she’ll lose more disrespect for you, further raise her standards and demands (that might have not been realistic to begin with), and lower her “supply” of love to give you if she did decide to come back.

Men in this situation often react out of fear — they don’t want their love of their lives to just move on and go talk to another man, so they start begging and pleading for forgiveness — even if they have done nothing wrong.

So don’t let fear, anger, or sadness push you to push her further.

Never let the scarcity mindset take over, because once it forces you act foolishly, you’ll later have to deal with the regret and shame that come after, when the dust clears and you get back to your senses.

You’ll later ask yourself, “how could I do that to myself?”

A question that will stay with you longer than the aftermath of the relationship.

2. Don’t Explain Yourself or Ask for Her Explanation

If you want to be any relationship’s leader and someone girls will look up to you, it’s just not going to happen unless you act in a way that demands respect.

People who continue to explain themselves or ask for explanations don’t demand respect for their own words, time, and energy.

And obviously, if you don’t respect your own words, time, and efforts by having to clarify your situation all the time or by having to ask her why is she doing this and what did she mean by that.

At one point, communication will not be the key anymore when boundaries have been crossed and dismissed a long time ago.

Having said that, you don’t wait for her explanations and you don’t listen to her excuses for why things aren’t going well.

You know the excuses and explanations, just like her emotions, just change everyday.

You don’t need a sign from her to react. You act.

Again, her actions are everything you need to see from her, not her words.

If you manage to avoid the noise that are arguments, questions, and see those signs for what they really are, you’ll avoid wasting more of your valuable time and dignity.

3. Take the “L”

Know when it’s time to stop chasing or continuing to give your love and attention to someone who just isn’t there anymore.

Once you put your ego aside, take the “L”, and accept things for what the are, you’ll not only start to move on, but you’ll also gradually be able to see how you’ve messed up with your Frame, investment, boundaries, and vetting with absolute clarity.

Be thankful and grateful for your position, even thought it might absolutely suck now, but when you’ve taken that “L” with open arms and an open mind, you’ll never have to make the same mistakes again.

Later on, you’ll consequently have better relationships with better women — so much better that you will ask yourself why you’ve ever had to drag out that bad relationship you’ve once had.

“L” is for learning, not for losing.

4. Don’t Wait for Her, Find Yourself New Options

Understand this:

If she is over you, a replacement for you is coming sooner or later, so there’s no time for you to stall and delay your exit.

She might be just distant from you and she might be just done with you, can’t know for sure.

But in both cases, it’s time for you to find new options and start behaving accordingly.

You don’t have to cheat on the girl, but it’s only fair for you to play the same game. You don’t have to wait until you get replaced or cheated on to start flirting with others and enjoying your time dealing with women you are actually interested in you.

Where you draw the line depends entirely on your situation, but the point is: don’t wait until it’s game over to start fresh.

Who knows, you might just find someone who is way much better than “your” girl who already has one foot out of a relationship, just waiting for another man to pick her up.

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5. Get Your Priorities Straight & Get to Work

Someone once said, “treat her like a celebrity, and she’ll treat you like a fan.”

If this applies to you, then you can’t really blame anybody but yourself.

No matter what other good things you do for her, if she’s your queen and you’re not her king, then you’ve framed yourself to be her peasant. It’s all about Frame and how you choose to be in a dynamic.

If she’s your number one, your better half, or whatever cheesy self-deprecating line those simps use on social media, then you got your priorities all wrong.

To be even remotely attractive to a woman, you need to have your stuff together.

And to have your stuff together, you need to have non-negotiable principles and priorities.

Your priorities should be having your goals to work on and good relationships to develop and maintain.

Money, family, friends, whatever you like. Make sure it’s not just a woman you’ve met a couple of months ago that becomes your sole focus in life.

Women want to be your highest priority, but once they’re there, they lose attraction to you immediately.

It might frustrate you having to please her, put her on a pedestal, and listening to exactly what she asks for to keep her only to realize that you’ve been far too compromising to the point where she is over you.

Because she has you all figured out. She had you all to herself. You’ve fallen flat, and so you’ve deprived her of intense emotions and mind stimulation.

Always make sure you have many things to look forward to and prioritize over your relationship.

She will complain every once in a while that you work too much or spend too much time with your friends, and that’s when you know you’re doing the right thing — you’re giving her your valuable attention and time, but not all of it.

You’re giving her what she needs, not what she thinks she wants.