It’s funny how we’ve been technically dating women for millions of years yet still don’t understand how they express themselves and their interest in relationships.

What we seem to struggle with is realizing the differences in the way men and women see and approach intergender dynamics. Today we’re sometimes told that we act and think the same way, that if we’re interested in someone, no matter what gender we belong to, we’ll just go and approach them.

But we all know this is bullshit. Most women still don’t do that, do they?

It’s still not expected of a woman to initiate an interaction/relationship. It’s still expected of you to not only do that for her but also deal with the consequences of possible rejection. That’s the world we currently live in.

A typical woman will not be direct with her interest mainly to avoid dealing with rejection. Instead, she will drop subtle hints and ambiguous clues for the man to pick up and start leading the interaction.

If the man she’s interested in manages to notice and reacts to her signal, then great; they got themselves a potential relationship. But if he doesn’t see the unclear sign, then…

Since a lot of men have a problem decoding these vague messages of interested, here are some of the subtle signs you should look out for to know if a woman is interested in you:

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7 Subtle Signs

She’s Interested In You

 

1. She’ll “Choose You” to Approach Her

A woman who’s interested in you has two options to let you know she’s interested; she will either pursue you (less likely) or make it easier for you to pursue her, depending on her personality and how feminine/masculine she is.

The more “masculine” a woman is, the more overt and direct her interest can be. A very direct woman will have no problem initiating the interaction and starting a conversation.

But, of course, that’s not always the case, so you should never really count on it or wait for it to happen. Unless you’re okay with being by yourself for a very long time.

Example: a woman “randomly” stands next to you at an event and starts a conversation about how bad the DJ/presenter/professor is.

On the other hand, a very feminine woman will still show you that she’s interested, but she’s most likely not going to initiate interest.

She will always strategically display it in a manner that keeps her safe from getting rejected. Instead of directly expressing her interest, she will communicate it covertly and hope you have big enough balls to take over and lead the interaction.

Example: a woman across the club/room initiating eye contact and holds her gaze for a few seconds.

However you react, she’ll always make sure she’s in a position where she doesn’t lose much.

If you pick up on her signal and approach her, then that’s great for you both. If you don’t react, then she’s not really dealing with the consequences of getting rejected because she hasn’t really pursued you. She’ll proceed to look at someone else.

And the most common mistake guys make when they’re trying to attract extremely feminine women is expecting these women to do their “part” in the initial interaction. Usually, this ends up with men leaving empty-handed.

It’s important to understand that if a woman chooses you and if you’re interested, you have to react as soon as possible, otherwise she’ll either think that you’re not that interested or that you aren’t confident enough to make your move.

2. She Seems to Be Around More Often

One common tactic a woman would deploy is strategically and “coincidentally” showing up in her target’s vicinity as many times as possible, hoping something happens.

She will pretend that she’s meeting someone else who happens to be where you at. Or maybe she’ll get something that seems to next to you.. for some odd reason.

If it’s an online interaction, she might start liking a couple of your posts and pictures or even ask you about something you’ve shared or commented about as an opportunity for you to take it from there.

The problem with this tactic is that it can be confusing for men. A guy might just not be sure if her showing up there frequently is a clear sign.

“Maybe it is just a coincidence? Does she like me? Maybe she is there for someone else.. Perhaps she’s just asking for a friend as people normally do..”

Even though this can get confusing at times as this might not be intentional, if you’re confused about it, I suggest just going for it anyway. If it wasn’t intentional, then your approach can still be a cold approach that could still get you somewhere.

3. Her Questions Keep Coming

You can tell if a woman takes you seriously or not by the kind of questions she asks you.

Since a woman naturally has more options than a man would, generally speaking of course, if there’s any slight interest from her side, she’ll want to immediately know if things would work out without wasting much time. Or the other potential options in her queue.

Your Present Situation

If she’s seeking a long-term connection, she’ll obviously first ask about your current availability. No woman is going to ask you whether you’re already in a relationship or not unless she sees a 1% chance of you being a potential mate.

She’ll also ask more personal questions to understand what kind of person you are and where you are with your life. To a woman who seeks commitment, there’s not a lot that’s more attractive than a man who’s on a purpose of his own.

If she’s looking for a fling or a short-term relationship, however, she’ll be more engaged with just your present situation; she’ll be looking for alpha traits that show you’re a high-quality male and that you’re someone fun to be with.

Your Future

Hopefully, if you haven’t shown too many red flags and if she’s interested enough, a woman will most likely ask you about how you see your future to see your potential and how she’d fit in.

Her questions regarding the future will be more serious the older and more traditional she is. Of course, that’s not to be expected in every situation and with every woman, but it’s something you can keep in mind.

Because of women’s hypergamous nature, an older woman will more likely seek provisioning qualities in hopes of starting a family one day, so she’ll obviously gauge your financial situation and ask you questions that have to do with your career and its potential to see what kind of resources you’ll be capable of offering.

Your Past

After she has a clear picture of what you’re like and what the future may hold, and assuming she still likes what she sees and knows so far, there will be a point where she’ll ask you about your past relationships. This is important for her for a number of reasons:

– She wants to know if you have any recurring toxic behavior or negative patterns that she needs to avoid.

– She wants to see what women you’d typically go for. If they’re attractive according to her standards, she’ll like and respect you even more.

Strange how female attraction works, right?

– She wants to know if you’re the type of person who can manage a long-term relationship.

Interview tip: honesty is required, but if your ex has been an evil sociopath, it’s best you don’t complain about her at all. You never want to come across as a salty man who disrespects his exes.

4. She’s In Her Feminine Frame

Ever noticed how women act around men they like and how their attitudes naturally switch when they talk to someone they’re not attracted to?

They act all giddy, “shy”, and very feminine. You could see a shift in their tone and a more open and warm body language.

Just look at any woman meeting a male celebrity she’s a fan of, and you’ll get an idea of what a feminine frame is like. She’ll generally be nice, eager to please, respectful, and considerate.

Of course, not every man is going to be a Jason Momoa, but assuming that you’ve been maintaining your confident masculine frame consistently in your interactions with a woman, if she’s interested in you, she will be in her feminine frame to boost your chances at bonding even further.

This should mean that if she’s constantly giving you a hard time by showing you a negative and/or disrespectful attitude, then she’s not in her feminine frame.

That also probably means you’ve not been in your masculine frame, and that you’ve let her settle into a comfortable place in the relationship where she feels that she could get away with saying or doing whatever she wants.

5. She Quickly Opens Up

A woman who likes you will waste no time telling you all about her. Because if she doesn’t care about you, she’ll have no desire to get past the usual small talk, if any. This doesn’t apply if she’s seeking friendships of course.

Her display of vulnerability is a telling sign that she is comfortable enough to deepen the connection between you two. After all, the more we like someone, the quicker and more we trust them, even if there’s no practical reason for trust to take place.

How far the connection goes as to whether it ends up as a friendship or a romantic relationship depends on your chemistry and how well you’ve maintained your frame. Discussing personal topics is essential in every healthy romantic relationship.

When you see this sign developing in your interaction, you better capitalize on it by simply listening to what she’s saying every time she opens up.

Even better and whenever possible, ask her more open-ended questions that would lead her to talk more about her experiences, opinions, and feelings.

Remember, people in general like being listened to more than they like being talked to.

6. She Volunteers to Help You

If you want to see if a woman’s really interested in you, ask her to do something for you and see how she reacts. It’s important to note how she reacts as she might comply out of politeness.

Women are usually used to men doing things for them instead of the other way around, especially if she’s attractive.

So if she’s consistently happy to help you out with things you ask for, then this may be a sign that she’s interested in you. But if a woman consistently volunteers to do things for you to genuinely see you doing better at work for example, then this is a woman who’s interested enough to make you happy; a person who wants to complement your life.

Because much like when it comes to listening, we also generally like to do things for the people we care about, even more than having them do things for us. We’re wired to please those whom we’re attracted to.

That’s one thing nice guys who finish last don’t get: if you do something for someone you like, you’re not going to win them over or attract them, but if you’re the one doing them favors, then you’re the only one investing in the connection that you have.

7. She Tests You

Women tend to have a lot of options when it comes to dating, especially when there are beta orbiters lurking everywhere on these women’s social media pages kissing their asses.

Obviously, the more attractive a woman is, the more options she has. And the more options she gets, the more she has to filter these options to not waste time dealing with men who she thinks aren’t good enough. To do that, some sort of testing has to be made to weed out the “losers”.

But what do women test exactly?

Confidence.

It’s the most important trait any woman with healthy self-esteem would seek. It’s a trait that women have been already choosing for millions of years for survival and mating purposes, so this is something you better be working on if you want a woman who has something to offer.

Having said that, if you approach a high-quality woman, expect her to test the hell out of you. It’s not always going to be deliberate tests, women are wired to test men to confirm their choices.

If she’s even slightly interested in you, she’ll tease and annoy you just to piss you off and see how you’d react. This is not to be confused with major disrespect and confrontations.

Example: you try approaching and talking to her, and responds by saying something like, “do you just talk to all women like that?”

And you might ask, “well why would a woman deliberately annoy a man she’s interested in? Isn’t that the opposite of what she should be doing? Shouldn’t that actually push him away?”

Well, the best way for a woman to test a man’s confidence is to make him uncomfortable, and see how he reacts. If he reacts emotionally or gets flustered, then he isn’t that sure of himself. Away he goes.

But if he doesn’t budge an inch, or even better, turns the table and puts her on the spot using humor instead, he passes her test. And then he becomes a serious contender. He becomes a man who, in her eyes, is able to maintain his masculine frame through adversity.

This is one of the most important qualities women have been seeking for millions of years, so it makes sense for her to innately test this quality before committing to any sort of romantic relationship.

It’s crucial to know that when you find yourself getting tested by a woman, don’t take it personally. In fact, you should see that as a compliment; it’ll be a good opportunity for you to confirm her attraction towards you.

This is exactly why when a woman sees you as a friend, she will have no interest in testing your confidence. If you’re not getting any minor tests every once in a while, then you’re not even remotely a sexual option.

Embrace the test when it comes your way.

The Medium Is the Message

If there’s one thing I’d like you to get from this article, is that the medium is the message when it comes to women and attraction.

Never fully expect women to be very straightforward with their interest. They may be forward with expressing how they feel on occasions, but always focus on how a woman communicates to understand her, instead of what she’s communicating.

The more you understand the female “language”, the better you will do at decoding their subtle communication and at handling relationships with women.

“Women communicate covertly, men communicate overtly. Men convey information, women convey feeling. Men prioritize content and information, women prioritize context and feeling when they communicate.”

Rollo Tomassi

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