A Submissive Girlfriend: How to Have a Woman Who Submits to You

Every man dreams of having a submissive girlfriend.

It’s in our nature to look for a loving and supportive woman who is willing to add to our relationship rather than getting stuck in a connection filled with friction, arguments, and negativity.

But just because we want a certain type of woman, doesn’t mean we necessarily deserve to have that.

What most men want and what they end up having are completely different.

Most men can’t have the feminine and submissive girlfriends they want simply because they aren’t what feminine and submissive women also want: masculine and strong men.

But when we say “submissive” women, we don’t mean weak, insecure, or damaged. We stay far away from that.

Submissive women are simply women who have had strong masculine figures in the form of competent fathers and older brothers, growing up.

These influential figures have always provided security, love, and happiness to their families.

Women who were fortunate enough to experience family members who truly knew their role and provided great leadership tend to want to replicate that in their own relationships.

They understand the value of being with a masculine man who knows how to lead.

This is where you, the man, come in.

If you’re looking for a submissive girlfriend or already have someone but want to change the direction of your relationship to what you want it to be, you need to read this.

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Signs to Look for in a Submissive Girlfriend

1. She Makes Time for You

Submissive women find purpose in giving to the men they love.

These great women make it a point to nurture the relationships they have by showing care and affection regularly to keep their men happy.

As long as they get their affection and attention rewarded, making time for men they appreciate will feel natural and meaningful to them.

A smart man with good Game , a mature person who knows what he wants, will fully understand the value of a woman making time for him by never taking it for granted or letting her dedication go unnoticed.

He will recognize that because his submissive girlfriend enjoys investing in the relationship, it’s in his best interest to nurture the relationship by elevating her as a woman and a partner.

Women who make time for you do so because they want to stand out, especially if you’re a man who’s on point.

They will take the time to support you when you’re on an uncomfortable endeavor, celebrate your achievements, and try to make your routines easier and more enjoyable for you.

Learn to recognize these kinds of women. They don’t always stand out compared to the high-energy, flashy, and sassy women, but if you know what you want, you’ll know better.

2. She Respects You Immensely

A submissive girlfriend will respect you, privately and publicly.

She will value what you think, respect what you say, and support what you do.

If you’re being a masculine man who knows what he needs to do for himself and your girl with consistency, she’ll trust you enough to respect you at all times.

Because it’s easier for a woman to be submissive to her man when he is the Man, not because she just has to.

So if you don’t have a submissive girlfriend who respects you — if you’re with someone who is always giving you a hard time or a bad attitude, then you’ve got work (or breaking up) to do.

And it’s not her fault. Remember that.

It’s never her fault.

A man’s relationship is always a reflection of him.

For her to be submissive towards you, she must respect you.

For her to be attracted to you, she must respect you.

In fact, the most important thing in a relationship isn’t love; it’s respect.

Most men forget about or don’t even know that, and that’s why they get stuck in dead relationships that don’t make them happy but choose to settle for them anyway under the name of “love.”

Put respect above all, and you’ll get only the highest quality connections that have you enjoying life to the fullest.

3. Your Pleasure Is Her Pleasure

A submissive girlfriend enjoys pleasing her man knowing it’s also her pleasure.

Feminine women, who are well taken care of, make sure their men are satisfied, in and out of bed.

They pay close attention to what their men like and what their preferences are.

They understand that by making their men happy on a regular basis, the men can commit even further to the relationships and feel appreciated for investing.

But that only works if you’re always guiding your girl to grow as a woman.

It’s only when she trusts your leadership is when she finds pleasure in your pleasure.

She can’t prioritize your needs if you’re not prioritizing her.

4. Your Goals Are Her Goals

A submissive girlfriend won’t get in your way of accomplishing what you want.

Assuming that she doesn’t have to compromise too much, of course.

She’ll know that by contributing to your goals, she’ll make you happier.

By making you happier, she also believes that will make your relationship stronger.

So if you share your success with her by rewarding her support, she becomes even more dedicated to your mission and vision.

That’s why you must always pick the right woman.

A loving submissive woman will want to help you build and make your road to success easier for you, if you show her how.

But a woman who doesn’t care about you will either downplay your attempts at becoming better or get in your way, claiming that your “impractical” aspirations won’t serve her.

Always pick either the one who wants what you want. Otherwise, what’s the point?

How to Find a Submissive Girlfriend

1. Understand the Numbers Game

Obviously, not all women out there are submissive.

Some women aren’t submissive at all and would rather lead their relationships.

Others aren’t submissive only because they never had the chance to deal with a man who knows what he wants and is capable of creating the right circumstances for a fulfilling relationship to take place.

And rightfully so. Look at the state of most men out there.

What you need to do as a man is to interact with and date a lot of women to find the ones who are interested in you.

Most women, obviously, won’t be with you for a million reasons.

Logistics will get in the way.

Circumstances on your or her end will prevent connections from happening.

Some women will always want something different than what you want.

Others will simply not be attracted to you.

There are also girls out there who will like you, but not too much.

So you have to understand that this is a numbers game.

If you want a submissive girlfriend, you’ll have to date a lot to find one.

And even when you do find one, she might not be compatible with you in other ways.

Stick to the process and do your best to recognize when you’re not getting the kind of woman you want as early as possible so you don’t have to waste your or her time.

This brings me to the next point.

2. Know When to Stop Pursuing

If you’re looking for anything that’s of value, then you know it just won’t fall on your lap.

You’ll have to be active when putting yourself out there by participating in the numbers game.

However, you also have to know when it’s time to quit pursuing someone or trying to convince her that your program is great when she’s not interested in what you have to offer.

If you want to find that submissive girlfriend, you need to be very specific with what you’re looking for and not waste time trying to hope for or change others to fit your criteria.

Because, at the end of the day, you can’t control someone, and nor should you even try to. Submissive women aren’t submissive because they’re forced to be so; they choose to be so.

Having said that, you’d save a lot of time and energy identifying women who choose what you want to start with.

For example, if you’re getting a lot of pushback and resistance from a woman you’ve just begun to deal with, then understand that she’ll most likely not change her ways later, since you’ve already continued to deal with her despite her resistance towards you.

That’s what most guys end up doing; they try to change the girl they’re dating thinking that’s possible,

But in such a case, by continuing to pursue her, you’re already rewarding her current behavior by giving her your attention and energy, so there’s never a need for her to switch up and follow your preferences.

Men with options reject more than they pursue. They know that life’s too short to waste on bad apples.

They either get what they want right off the bat or just pursue the next option.

How to be that Man Submissive Women Want

1. Be a Masculine Man Worthy of Respect

You can’t ask for a submissive girlfriend if you don’t know how to command respect.

A woman can’t submit to you unless you’re a masculine leader who respects himself and knows his worth.

Otherwise, there’s nothing for a woman to submit to.

If you want your future or present girl to recognize your leadership, you need to carry yourself like a man who is on a mission to better himself and those around him.

You need to know you deserve respect and treat others with respect.

But here’s the catch: you can’t pretend to be a masculine leader when you start dating a girl.

By the time you meet her, you should have already been that masculine man who is worthy of respect.

Most men try to be and act masculine when they’re dealing with a potential relationship. But women see through these men and can tell if they’re really congruent with what they’re portraying or not.

And for you to know yourself and know what you want just so you can successfully guide a submissive girlfriend later, you have to stick to behaving and thinking like a capable masculine man who is respected by other men and women.

2. Be an Assertive Man

There can’t be two extremely assertive or submissive people in a successful relationship.

You can’t have two captains in one ship.

Polarity is needed for a fulfilling relationship between a man and a woman to blossom and remain intact.

Someone has to be the leader and guide the connection to a direction that satisfies both.

If you’re assertive in guiding without using force or manipulation, you won’t have a problem maintaining a great relationship with a submissive woman.

If you’re being assertive in your communication with her and letting her know what you’re about, it will be easy for her to prioritize your needs and your preferences, assuming you’re also assertive in upgrading her mindset and life as well.

Because being assertive isn’t a one-way street where you can just sit and bark commands at your girl. You also need to be assertive in pursuing and taking care of your connection with her to make sure she’s happy with what she has.

Understand the difference between assertive and bossy.

One is a leader and the other is a boss.

3. Know What You Want & Communicate It Effectively

This might be the most important point of all.

If you don’t know what you want, a woman can be submissive to you.

And why should she?

A masculine man knows exactly what he wants out of life and what he needs to do to get it.

By knowing what his exact goals are, he’ll be able to know what his relationship should exactly look like.

By understanding what works for him in a relationship and being consistent with it, he’ll be able to communicate clearly what he wants to any woman he’s dating.

When a woman fully understands the picture of what the man is about, it becomes easier to trust him — she knows she’s dealing with a man, not a child who can jump ship at any moment.

It later then becomes her choice to see whether or not she’d like to be in that relationship, but if she does choose to stick with that man, it also becomes easier for her to be the submissive girlfriend.

Because after she has seen enough consistency and experienced fulfillment in the relationship, she simply starts trusting her man enough with herself to follow his guidance without question.

She understands that she has seen enough to know that her partner wants the best for her and that his goal also serves her.

For this scenario to play out and for everyone to win, you must first have a plan for yourself, and then for her.

Know who you are first before you commit to anyone else.

4. Lead with Honesty

Honesty is the best policy, and that applies to relationships.

A submissive girlfriend will want to stay submissive if she knows she has faith in your words, plans, and actions.

But once a man betrays that trust by not fulfilling his promises or straying away from his responsibilities and duties as the leader, his girl will gradually lose trust and faith — making it hard for her desire to continue being submissive.

A lack of honesty is an immediate crack to the foundation of any relationship, let alone one with a submissive woman.

So you must be prepared to always be honest with your girl, even when it gets uncomfortable, to keep the trust and respect intact so you can keep her desire to submit to you.

A woman would rather deal with the uncomfortable truth than live with a man she knows can lie to her.

It’s easier for her to believe in you when your principles are strong; she knows you’re reliable so it will make sense for her to just follow your lead.

5. Stick to Your Principles & Boundaries

If you want to have fulfilling relationships, you must be ready to end the connections that are no longer fulfilling to you.

And your girl must understand that.

You don’t have to tell her that, but she must see from your actions and words that you have standards and boundaries to stick by that will never change.

A submissive girlfriend will no longer be submissive if she feels that you have no boundaries to be respected.

And that’s not because she’s a bad person, but because it would be your fault.

People can’t respect you and follow your rules when you can’t maintain clear boundaries to let others know how you must be treated.

Nobody knows how you should be treated. You have to show them.

So when you’re dating someone, in the beginning, there should come a time when you have to communicate these boundaries, not because that person is disrespectful, but because she simply doesn’t know you yet.

You have to always be communicating what you’d be willing to tolerate or not deal with so it becomes easier for the foundation of the relationship to form correctly.

This doesn’t mean you should be strict in enforcing every boundary like an uptight dictator, but your girl has to know that you’re not forced to continue being in a relationship where your standards aren’t being met.

Keep your boundaries strong and your standards high.

6. Elevate Your Girl: Exchange Value

Everybody wants to invest in something that makes them happy in some way, and submissive women are no different.

Men who have good Game and knowledge are able to elevate those around them.

And smart women will recognize and want to be part of that.

Submissive women learn from masculine capable men and masculine leaders always show their women how to become better as individuals.

Your job as a masculine leader is to make sure your submissive girlfriend is having her mindset upgraded regularly.

People have flaws they can’t see and shortcomings they don’t know to deal with.

This is where you come in and help her become a better version of herself — to recognize her talents and make use of it so she is even more fulfilled with who she is.

It’s your duty to make her feel beautiful, desired, and elevated — a great woman who is going to reflect you.

Her commitment should be rewarded regularly with your attention and love so she’s always reminded why she chose the right person to submit to.

But always remember that in any quality relationship, you must give value to receive value.

Submissive vs. Low Self-Esteem

There’s a common misconception that submissive girls have to have low self-esteem to be happy with being submissive.

While this can be true in some cases, your goal should be finding a healthy-minded woman who has self-respect and high self-esteem and chooses to be submissive.

A woman with low self-esteem might be submissive, but that won’t benefit you as she will bring a lot of drama because of her insecurities. She will be very unpredictable too often which doesn’t make her reliable. She’ll also submit to any guy she feels is “better” than her, instead of resonating with positive qualities that are actually valuable.

But if she has high self-esteem and then wants to submit to a particular guy, she’ll follow him only because he has earned her respect for her to do so, and not because she has to or has no other option. She simply desires his leadership, but will also have the decency to exit a relationship with him if things go too south.

A submissive woman with low self-esteem has no idea what a good masculine man is. She’ll be susceptible to dealing with manipulation and deceit and will have a problem with recognizing toxic relationships, let alone leaving one.

A woman with high self-esteem and is submissive normally has seen for herself what strong masculine leadership is. She’ll understand why it’s in her best interest to be a submissive girlfriend only when she sees a worthy man who knows what he wants and finds ways to elevate her.

Can You Turn Your Girlfriend Into a Submissive Girlfriend?

Most guys out there have girlfriends that aren’t submissive and end up later wanting to change that.

That’s not because it’s their girlfriends’ problem, but because these men never shaped their relationship to be in a certain way and let their girlfriends know what they have wanted.

Because, again, they never knew what they wanted, weren’t able to communicate it effectively, or simply didn’t have the knowledge or Game to do so.

Having said that, it’s always easier to shape a relationship in a certain way in the beginning than later on after a couple of years.

And this depends entirely on the woman, you, how long your relationship has been set on a specific (or lack of) foundation, and how masculine-feminine you’ve both already been so far,

But generally speaking, you still can’t just show up one day as a different man with new requirements for your relationship and expect your girl to not find it strange.

Most likely, if you’ve been putting her and her needs on a pedestal or simply following her direction for a long time, just changing the already-set relationship dynamics won’t be possible.

And even if it is, it might not be easy — you might just find it better to start off with a new relationship than instill your new desired dynamics into one that already has some in place.

Because as I always say, you can’t control your girl, but you can influence her.

So regardless of what you want to do next with your relationship, you have to change yourself anyway.

Whether or not she chooses to switch to being a submissive girlfriend gradually isn’t something you have control over. The only thing you can control one hundred percent is you.

You must become a capable masculine leader anyway for yourself, and then let your girl see the gradual change for herself.

She’ll find it weird as first and may call you out on it. as she should.

Nobody recognizes a shift in their partner’s behavior and just feels it’s safe — it’s an inconsistency, and women don’t like inconsistencies.

But if you are consistent for long enough, she will start to believe in your change the way you do.

After she notices your new patterns, she’ll ask you why you’re going through this development, and I’d recommend you simply tell her that this is the goal you want to head towards because it would make you happy.

She’ll, later on, would have to make a choice — either she believes that change helps her or not.

If she’s attracted to you and you let her know that your intention is to provide value for yourself and her, she’ll watch you cautiously and wait for the new dynamics to be consistent enough to set the new relationship foundations.

When she’s more attracted to you and has more respect for you, then she will be more willing to follow your directions — she will enjoy that her relationship is becoming better, thanks to you, and then might want to be more of a submissive girlfriend herself.

If she feels too threatened by the change or, for whatever reason, doesn’t want to be part of your new development, then you have to accept the reality for what it is and communicate clearly that it wouldn’t work for you both to stay together.

No matter what happens, stick with what you truly want.

Never settle or compromise for something and someone you don’t truly want just because you’re having bits of pieces of what you want.

Masculine men who have value to offer find no reason to settle for half connections when they know they can have exactly what they want while making someone else happy.

It’s All About You, First and Foremost

If you’ve noticed one key element in finding a submissive girlfriend or influencing your current one into being more submissive, it’s always going to be you shaping things the way you desire.

If you’ve also noticed, there hasn’t been anything said about your looks, money, or status.

Too many guys out there think you need to get more money, fame, or better looks for women to blindly follow you.

But you don’t need any of those to find and keep a submissive girl.

In fact, you can have all three and still suck with women.

All you need is to be the Man.

Whether or not you even have a relationship, you must be that guy who has a great plan for himself and executes it accordingly.

Women don’t always have the patience to plan for you, unfortunately, and nor should they.

They’d rather have a man who has an idea of what his path is and simply goes for it, without the need for someone else to tell him to do so.

They’d love to join you on your journey rather than be the end of it.

So remember, at the end of the day, it’s all about you.