“Man will only become better when you make him see what he is like.”
Anton Chekhov
Please note that this post, The Laws of Human Nature ― Book Review, contains affiliate links. As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases at no costs to you.
“The Laws of Human Nature” is a masterpiece written by the brilliant Robert Greene, the author of other well-known and resourceful books such as “The 48 Laws of Power”, “The 33 Strategies of War”, and “Mastery”.
In his 6th book, Greene provides several prominent figures throughout history as great examples to dissect human behavior, psychology, and motivations.
Reading this book will help you reassess your priorities in life and how you can improve on a social level at work and in your relationships and as a human being who’s looking to become a better version of themselves.
Here are the most important things you will learn as you go through the 18 Laws of Human Nature:
5 Things You Will Learn from
“The Laws of Human Nature”
1. How to Read & Understand People
We can only act and pretend for so long before our emotions get the better of us and leave our intentions exposed; our micro-expressions and body language are more revealing than we’d like to admit.
They tend to be very brief, but these natural indicators will tell you more than what people want to tell you. Picking up on the indicators will help you not only read people inside out but also become more aware of your own presentation and image to your advantage.
In “The Laws of Human Nature”, Greene discusses key traits we carry that are heavily driven by our competitive, emotional, and insecure nature in the Laws of Narcissism, Envy, Role-Playing, and Defensiveness; traits that influence how we choose to present ourselves to those around us.
We oftentimes fail to register people’s true feelings towards us because we’re busy focusing on the most obvious qualities they display, and then we judge upon that. We form our impressions of people using the behavioral pattern that they have specifically chosen to show us.
So when a sudden and unfamiliar emotion such frustration or envy erupts out of the person who we once thought was our friend or partner, we get surprised and question what we already know about them.
“Do I truly know this person? Is this who they really are?” we ask ourselves.
And that’s because we overlook the importance of emphasizing on the sub-communication people always leak out when they’re stressed or unable to get what they want.
The ability to read between the lines is tremendously helpful as you will not only know what to look out for when dealing with others, but your thorough understanding emotions will also guide you to start meaningful relationships and strengthen the bonds that you already have.
When you know how to read people, you’re able to give them what they want without having to ask them, which in return makes them trust you more and become willing to return the favor.
In “The Laws of Human Nature”, the author mentions the keys signs you’ll need to look out for in people to be able to correctly spot their true motivations and feelings towards you.
Moreover, you will also be able to put out tensions and differences before they manifest when necessary, which will help you develop your relationships even further.
2. How to Influence Others
In one of the fascinating laws mentioned by Greene, “The Law of Fickleness”, you’ll read about how much people generally do not really like to be responsible for leading others, and instead prefer to be led, just as long as they still think they’re in charge.
Most of us think that becoming a good leader in a family or an organization requires a certain degree of character and power along with good intentions, but this is only a small part of the equation.
A powerful leader can easily be an authoritarian figure, and this is never a figure that lasts for long. People, in general, want to be part of the journey too, as long as things are going well of course.
To successfully influence people, you must always show that you are, in some way, their equal.
There’s a reason why people are more eager to blame their leaders but are loyal to their equals. That’s usually the case with true friends.
It takes a lot of awareness to become a capable leader, but it also requires even more effort to understand people very well enough to lead them.
The “Laws of Human Nature” will give you practical tips on the qualities and traits you must possess to successfully lead anyone towards your own goals and win over their loyalty for long-term connections and stability.
3. How to Sharpen Your Awareness
One of the many reasons why I find this book extremely valuable is how it guides you to put your own character under the microscope in a way that’s easy to break down and follow.
By going through each of the 18 laws and their examples, you will identify with some of the historical figures and explore their mistakes and flaws that might be preventing you from becoming the better version of yourself.
Because we’re quick to put the blame on others, we never give ourselves the chance to see the negative qualities and patterns and that we execute repetitively in our jobs and relationships on a daily basis.
We like to think we’re aware enough to realize our own flaws, but are we really?
Well, after reading some of the relevant traits in “The Law of Defensiveness”, “The Law of Grandiosity”, and “The Law of Irrationality”, you will be able to have a better understanding of how your own nature can color your reality, showing you what you want to see rather than how things really are.
“What if we could find out what causes us to lie about who we are, or to inadvertently push people away?”Robert Greene
4. How to Be a Stronger Human Being
We all have a dark side, something the psychiatrist and founder of analytical psychology Carl Jung calls “The Shadow”, an instinctual and irrational drive that we all deal with differently.
Most of us suppress it and simply choose to be on our best behavior, some of us simply express it immediately with little thought to the consequences, and few of us externalize the dark side correctly and in a healthy manner.
The reason why we’re usually unable to externalize our “shadow” is that we never really give ourselves the chance to understand why our dark side’s there from the first place. We’re too busy focused on maintaining our civilized social image to be accepted among our peers.
But bottling your dark side doesn’t solve the problem, it only postpones it until you’re unable to contain it and it leaks out, usually in the worst of times. Furthermore, immediately acting upon impulses only presents you as a psychopath, so that doesn’t work either.
In “The Laws of Human Nature”, Greene mentions the importance and practical methods of correctly dealing with your insecurities that form your “shadow”, and how your dark side can actually be used to make you a stronger and more authentic version of yourself that draws people to you.
5. How to Be a Happier Individual
Happiness is hard to find and even harder to maintain.
We strive and look for long-term contentment, but it seems to be increasingly difficult as life finds its way to present us with increasingly difficult challenges along the way.
But it’s not just life and its events that prevent us from being happier people; sometimes we make it harder on ourselves. We get distracted by circumstances that don’t matter in the long run, just when it happens.
“The Laws of Human Nature” emphasizes the sense of proportion we tend to lack when we’re dealing with hardships with others and events on a daily basis.
In one of the laws, “The Law of Shortsightedness”, you’ll understand how even the most intelligent people can invest in the wrong choices simply due to human nature and how it’s easily impressed by the present.
We tend to easily get swayed by instant gratifications and, once we find it, we’ll subscribe to dopamine, confuse it for happiness, and then look for more.
In another law, “The Law of Death Denial”, you’ll see how we’re very uncomfortable at the thought of dealing with death, even though it’s inevitable.
It’s not an easy experience dealing with loss or knowing that our time is limited in this world, of course as death is usually one of the most difficult experiences a human being has to deal with; however, there are benefits to accepting our fate and grasping the limit of our mortality.
One of the better realizations is having a sense of proportion on what actually does matter and worth stressing over.
When you live knowing that you don’t have all the time in the world, your positive experiences become more intense and your negative ones take up less attention than they deserve. You learn to stop dwelling and overthinking, especially about things you can no longer change. Instead, you learn to cherish the happy moments.
Going through each and every Law in the book will guide you to recognize negative patterns that are taking away from your happiness.
When you know your flaws, you’re more capable and aware, which means knowing what’s weighing you down, and that will eventually lead to less struggling and more happiness.
When you’re able to read the people around you, you become more social and are able to get what you want and provide as much as you want, which also means fewer difficulties and more contentment.
Conclusion
A common question people ask a lot when they’re going through painful experiences is, “why is this happening to me?”
According to Greene, it’s a question that often sums up our inability to understand each other, especially in our current age when we’re disconnected to each other more than ever, despite having the best means to connect to each other, also more than ever.
We tend to ask this question when we are unable to understand people’s motivations and the causes behind their actions. A consistent string of struggles forces us to see ourselves as helpless victims, a state that only invites even more unhappiness and pain into our lives.
Traits such as narcissism, shortsightedness, grandiosity, and irrationality are only going to get intensified thanks to social media and the unrealistic standards it forms for us; therefore, our circumstances don’t seem like they’re going to improve, not in the foreseeable future at least.
To adapt to our evolving social dynamics and enjoy our temporary existence, we must be able to constructively criticize our own character and social awareness with the purpose of bettering ourselves.
Fortunately, there’s a book just for that.