So you’ve been talking to or seeing this woman you like for a while, and then all of a sudden, she decided to just disappear. Without any explanations.

She has ghosted you, and now you’re confused, frustrated, and maybe feel disrespected for not getting an answer to why she’s ignoring you, especially when things have been going well.

Or at least that’s what you think.

We’ve all been there. We’ve all been ghosted.

As frustrating as this is, you should know that seeking answers or explanations from her isn’t really going to help.

Because women are usually nice; they don’t like rejecting you and then having to clarify their position. Instead, they’d rather just avoid dealing with you altogether, as if the problem (you) never even existed.

Is it selfish?

Yes.

Is it disrespectful?

Sure.

But it is what is. You can’t expect to look for answers from her so you can feel better about the situation. If you persist and chase her reasoning, you’ll either get vague answers that will frustrated you even further or get ignored again, which will also frustrate you even more.

What you can do, however, is read the following reasons to why she’s ignoring you, and then figure out how to handle things from there, without having to deal with her at all.

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“Why Is She Ignoring Me?”

7 Typical Mistakes You Need to Avoid

1. You’re Overpursuing Her

The most common mistake at least 90% of men out there make to get the girl they want is mindlessly chasing her reactions.

Think about the most high-value and the most attractive man you could think of.

Do you think he spends his time trying to please and give a woman a lot of free attention to get what he wants?

Or does it seem to you like his process of getting woman is smooth and easy — a little too easy at times?

Is he the kind of man who even asks the question, “why is she ignoring me?” as if her affection and attention are what he really needs to think about?

Exactly.

It’s not a coincidence that men who know they’re attractive also know their worth. They know they don’t need to chase one person in particular for their own validation. They believe that not having a particular woman isn’t going to limit their happiness at all.

When it comes to dealing with women, these men have an abundance mindset that prevents them from being needy and overpursuing, because they understand that the world is full of millions of women; one woman isn’t worth taking too much mental and emotional investments.

There is always going to be a better and hotter woman out there who’s willing to invest in you, assuming that you approach her with the right mindset.

A woman has no choice but to ignore you when she gets the feeling that you have no one but her.

She is ignoring you because, through you showing her your persistence to have her, she feels the scarcity mindset in your approach, voice, and texts.

She gets the impression that she’s too good for you; that you’re not used to having a woman who is as attractive as her. That you’re willing to do anything at all costs to keep her attention, even if it’s at the expense of your own dignity.

No woman is attracted to such a scarcity mindset. It’s repulsive, needy, and reeks of insecurities.

All women are attracted to a man they can pursue. They love to get the scarce attention of a quality man that’s hard to find and even harder to keep.

2. You Don’t Give Her Enough Space to Pursue You

One of the main problems with nice guys who don’t understand their worth by overpursuing is that they unintentionally don’t allow the woman to invest in them, in return.

For a woman to pursue you, she needs to be given some space, to begin with.

For a woman to miss you, you need to be unavailable to her for a while, provided she has already been attached to you somehow.

For a woman to even get attracted to you in the long-term, she needs to know the possibility of what it’s like going through her days without you being around.

All of these forms of investment require you to just not be around her at all times.

So when you’re talking to her on a daily basis, texting her right from when she opens her eyes in the morning only to stop just when she’s closes them at night, you leave no room for mystery or tension to build up between you two.

You’re just there. Always there.

That’s why she is ignoring you. She knows you’re going to be there, always a text away from giving her free validation and attention.

And since she has you in the bag, she feels free to pursue other men who are not as available — men who know their worth and will never put her on a pedestal, while knowing that worst-case scenario, she can just fall back on you.

So it’s up to you to choose which position you’d like to take in an interaction:

Pursue her mindlessly, not give her any room to invest, have her ignoring you, and then push her away into another dude’s Frame. A dude who’s doing way less than you and getting everything you’ve ever hoped for from her.

Or..

Be that guy who just has other more important things to do than worry about why a woman is ignoring him. A guy who knows when to pursue and when to expect others to work for his time and attention.

3. You’re Texting Her with No Intent

The point of texting is to meet up.

The whole point of texting is to meet the woman and to escalate your interactions to something real.

The entire point of texting is not to have an entire conversation on a daily basis without ever meeting her.

As a man of purpose, you have more productive ways to spend your time other than tapping keystrokes with your thumbs and staring at a screen all day.

You don’t build relationships by texting or calling her all the time. You don’t form a physical or emotional bond by being just a random dude on an app to a woman; to be one of many faces with no actual presence.

Women are okay with having your attention for free — it boosts their ego and lets them know they’re desired.

Whenever they feel like it, they will accept a guy’s invitation to meet up. When they don’t feel like it, they will accept your online attention to keep herself entertained.

But as for us men, we need physical interaction and actually enjoying someone else’s company. Texting to us, is only a means to an end and you should treat it as such.

However, most men of us men still don’t act upon our desires because of BS excuses. We will gladly waste our time texting for days and weeks without ever pulling the trigger and asking to meet up.

And when we do, we’re too late, to the point where the girl interest just fizzles out.

That’s exactly why she ends up ignoring you: you’re just not acting with urgency or intention.

So while you’re spending your time texting and trying to get her to invest, she’s out there accepting or even asking for someone else who’s acting with the intention of actually being with her.

Never put yourself in this situation or allow your time and attention to be wasted like that.

Sometimes it won’t be clear to you if she’s just ignoring you in real life yet still wants your free validation. Sometimes, even when you do push for a date, she’ll give you excuses to avoid seeing you like:

– “Let’s get to know each other here (online) first.”

– “I’m not comfortable enough to meet up with you yet.”

– “I’m busy” or “Something came up.”

Once you hear those excuses, you need to understand that they don’t apply to all guys, they only apply to you.

Because consider this: if Chris Brown or Drake randomly DM’d a girl on IG asking to meet up, would she tell him that she would like to get to know him on IG first? Would she say she’s not that comfortable yet? Would she say she’s busy?

Exactly.

She’ll deal with whatever obstacle she has to meet up with Drake, because she knows if she doesn’t make things happen quickly, she might never have the opportunity again.

And why’s that?

Because she knows these kind of men have options. She understands she needs to react urgently.

Now, that doesn’t mean you have to be Drake, but you should at least understand that you should never waste too much of your time trying to “build rapport” with someone who has no interest in anything more than online communication.

Even if she talks to you all the time. Even if she says you’re the best man ever.

If you’re not getting her full attention or actual presence, then she’s just not into you.

If she’s always being flaky, then she’s just not into you.

No amount of texting or communicating is going to build up her attraction towards you.

And that’s perfectly fine, don’t take it personally. She has the right to do whatever she wants, but you have the right to only spend your time with those who truly deserve it.

For you to see who truly deserves your time, you need to pay attention to how a girl acts, not to what she says.

So stop wasting your time communicating with her aimlessly without you having what you really want.

Texting is for logistics. Social media is for recruiting.

Always act with a purpose in mind, and when it doesn’t work out, just cut your losses.

4. Your Interactions with Her Are Too Safe & Boring

Women are emotional beings and they are driven by emotions, for the most part.

With that being said, if your interactions with a girl are flat, monotonic, and purely logical, then you can’t be surprised if she ends up ignoring you.

What is always going to get a woman coming back to you for more, especially in the beginning of a relationship, is the intensity and range of emotions she feels towards you and being around you.

Notice that I say the emotions have to be intense and different. They don’t have to be necessarily always positive or negative.

Now that doesn’t mean you have to go out there and make her feel like crap, but you need to understand that attraction is tension, and you can’t have her always experiencing positive and good feelings towards you, one hundred percent of the time.

Because if she consistently feels good about you, she’ll get too complacent and will never really appreciate these good experiences with you.

And that’s exactly the problem with the typical Nice Guy, he tries to please the girl he likes to a point where she just doesn’t appreciate his efforts anymore.

His willingness to always please her forces her to feel too comfortable in his presence that she doesn’t need to work for his attention. His validation becomes cheap and his words don’t hold weight anymore.

If you’re that kind of guy, she will be ignoring you at one point because you won’t be a challenge to her any more. You won’t be worthy of her respect when you’re just one dimensional in your approach and don’t have much else to offer.

On the other hand, being a total jerk doesn’t help either.

Assuming she has been interested at all, if you continue giving her negative emotions to deal with, she will feel so unsafe and unappreciated that she will have no real reason to stick around. She’ll only expect bad experiences, and nobody with a healthy degree of self-respect will just stay and take that.

If you’re able to manage both sides of the spectrum however, you’re going to be intoxicating and addictive to her.

You’re going to be mysterious, unpredictable, and hard to pin down.

You’d be an attractive challenge worth pursuing, figuring out, and investing in.

But how do you have a woman experiencing that sort of tension, the push-pull effect that spikes arousal and intrigue?

You need to set the tone from the beginning and right from the start to prevent her from ignoring you or putting you in the friend zone in the first place.

Don’t just give her a compliment to expect her to respond to you; that’s just too predictable and most guys do that on a regular basis to only get friend zoned. You don’t insult her either because getting slapped isn’t the result you necessarily want.

Tease her, neg her, and give her backhanded compliments every once in a while. Have fun with her and don’t be afraid to make fun of her when an opportunity presents itself.

Have good quality conversations with her by actually listening and asking thought-provoking questions to form a strong emotional connection between you.

And then.. just disappear.

Be busy and don’t be always available to her to give her that positive experience whenever she likes again. Get her to work and look for you to have that emotional connection going.

Keep things balanced. Keep her guessing.

5. You’re Approaching Her with the Wrong Frame

If you’re approaching a woman with idea that you’re trying to win her over, then you’re doing it wrong.

If you’re trying to prove yourself in any way so she can be with you, then you’ve already lost her.

Having the wrong frame in an interaction is a good enough reason as to why she is ignoring you.

Because value is always pursued, and if you want to be pursued, then you have to come from a place of value and not be the one looking for it in others.

Most men out there navigate through the dating world from a place of scarcity. They try to show off their toys, money, jobs, and even virtue to let a woman know they have something to offer.

But true value is recognized for what it is and cannot be compensated with superficial value.

All the positive traits you have are meant to be discovered, not intentionally displayed.

All the women you deal with should take the time to discover what you’re about, not interview you to see whether you’re good enough.

Now whether they do take the time or choose not to doesn’t even matter, because obviously, not everyone will be into you and make the effort to get to know you.

But unless you frame your interactions in ways that have you being pursued, you’re never going to have those high quality relationships that add to your life. You’ll always be one of those average guys who position themselves as attention and resource providers — like most men out there, you’ll be the expendable commodity that adds to others’ lives at the expense of your own.

You need to frame yourself as the prize at all times. You have to be able to look at yourself as someone who deserves the best out of women, and to be appreciated in that manner, you must have high standards and strong boundaries.

You need high standards so you only allow in the people who want to please you and offer value to you.

And you need strong boundaries so these people know they have to continue working to keep you happy, otherwise, what’s the point?

Once you’re able to figure out what you truly want from the women you deal with and act accordingly, not allowing anything else other than what you’re looking for in your interactions, you eventually filter out a lot of the frustrating BS that makes up most of the dating space.

You’ll then get only what you want on a consistent basis, and as you get better with developing your Frame, standards, and boundaries, women will start reacting to what you want when they deal with you, and that along with having good Game, will make attractive enough to be pursued and appreciated.

So decide what it is that you want out of your relationships and then never waste time and effort pursuing anything else other than what satisfied you.

At the end of the day, you attract what you are.

6. She’s Playing Hard to Get & You Can’t See It

Another valid reason to why she is ignoring you is because she’s playing hard to get.

This is a common tactic a lot of women out there use when they’re punishing you, realizing they’re not getting what they want from you, or just want your free validation.

It’s a form of manipulation to get you to act on your scarcity mindset and trigger a reaction out of you, and it’s a method that works just fine with all the beta orbiters out there who are lusting after their manipulator thinking they have a shot.

When she pulls away and you get too worried about losing her, you’ll naturally react emotionally and start chasing after her responses to feel secure about your chances with her.

Once she feels that her mere existence or absence can trigger your emotions that way, she will first lose respect for you and then, if she feels like it, will “play with you” some more, the way a cat does with its helpless prey.

Although this might sound a little evil, it is not usually intentional, and it what it is. You should be perfectly okay with people doing that, but what you definitely shouldn’t be okay with is allowing others to put you in this position from the start.

Because your presence is a gift. And it will only be given to those who appreciate and value it.

So whenever you’re dealing with a woman who’s ignoring you when you’ve done nothing wrong, then consider this silence or flake as all the reaction you need.

Don’t go trying to figure out why she is ignoring you or give her an excuse for not giving you the reaction you’re looking for, because there’s always the chance that she could be just playing hard to get to lure your emotional side in and find satisfaction in having your attention for her own entertainment.

No answer is an answer and the medium is the message.

Once she realizes that you’re not the kind of man who just doesn’t even bother with this kind of childish behavior, she’ll either leave you alone and stop wasting your time or she’ll respect you more for not being needy and reactive like most of the guys she deals with, to the point where she starts investing in you.

It’s a win either way.

For a more detailed article on playing hard to get, read this.

7. She’s Just Not Into You & You Think You Got a Shot

What if she’s just not that into you?

It’s highly possible that a chick isn’t interested in you at all and that could be why she is ignoring you.

It’s not that you’ve done anything wrong. It’s not because you’re ugly. It’s not because there’s something wrong with you. It’s not that your approach was bad. It’s not that your Game wasn’t tight.

Maybe you just don’t do it for her and she is attracted to qualities that aren’t yours.

Maybe she did like you, but then her ex came back in the picture. And now she doesn’t want to explain this awkward situation to you.

Maybe you had a good time with her, but then another dude came in and had better chemistry with her.

Sometimes there’s just nothing wrong to be addressed or fixed.

Dating, after all, is a numbers game.

You’re going to have to experience talking to and being with a lot of girls just to find out one you like and wants to stick around.

There are no substitute or shortcuts for that. You can’t always change how someone feels about you, so when a girl isn’t really into you, just don’t take it personally.

And that’s something most guys have a hard time dealing with. They take rejection personally, sulk, and keep thinking too much about that girl who genuinely has no interest, to the point where they lose confidence in themselves, ruining future potential opportunities that could be had later on.

You can’t take rejection personally if she didn’t even take the time to really get to know you personally.

Okay, Now What?

Now that you’ve looked at the possible reasons why she’s ignoring you, you’ll hopefully realize that in all cases, there’s almost nothing you can do or say to her that will change the dynamic in your favor.

To be more specific, and if you think about it objectively with all emotional investments aside, there’s nothing you should do about it.

Of course you could continue trying to talk to her, ask her why she’s not being responsive, and do more of the things that got you in this position in the first place.

But generally-speaking, any reaction to her silence will force her to lose more disrespect for you and actually give her more reasons to realize why she was ignoring you the first time.

This is usually easier said than done, especially if you were already dealing with her on a more regular basis before.

The best thing you could do to get her out of your head is to accept the fact that she isn’t giving you what you think you deserve.

And then find other options.

She’s never going to be the best option you’ve ever had if you choose to continue exploring others’ companionship.

You will and can find a better woman who’s going to make you wonder why you’ve ever had to bother with someone who just didn’t give you the time of day.

But, again, that will only happen if you make the conscious decision to stop beating a dead horse and move on to new experiences with new people.

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Why Is She Ignoring Me? | 7 Typical Mistakes You Need to Avoid